Welcome

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Welcome to Richard Clarke’s Weblog.

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This blog was created as a space for my writing after I read about an author who on the back of 30,000 online readers was offered a six-figure, two-book deal. I’m not so deluded as to expect such a response, but it was certainly the inspiration for putting my work ‘out there’ to see what might happen.

I do hope you enjoy the stories, please feel free to comment and I’d be grateful if you would forward a link to this site to everyone you know.

If you are an agent or publisher interested in my work, please do get in touch by leaving a comment, which will send me an email with your details.

May this blog find its way …

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Meridian

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Reality ends.

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A nation stands on the precipice of war, mysterious visions infect a population and supernatural anomalies strike down millions. As a Queen bays for blood and panic grips a people, Agent Tian Brooke frantically investigates …

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I recently completed the first draft of what has become a 90,000 word novel, I am presently polishing the work and will soon begin the process of trying to secure an agent and publisher for it. I have published the first chapter on this site as a taste of the piece and I do hope you enjoy it.

I would love to become a published novelist. It has been my wish since I started writing in 1995. For me, Meridian is the great hope of perhaps one day realising that dream.

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Meridian can also be found at:

http://www.youwriteon.com/

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All material is copyright © Richard Clarke

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Meridian – One

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Meridian - 01 - Riot 01

Eva and Alain

“Lauren,” Tian shouted above the clamour, as his breathing quickened.

“I’m here.” He felt the Chief tug the back of his jacket.

“They’re pushing them away from the Village.” He pointed ahead to the shimmering shield. “Princess Park in Arandene?”

“It’s possible, but the park’s not big enough to hold a crowd this size,” Lauren replied. “There must be a hundred-and-fifty-thousand people here.”

“And more to the point you said it would be the Village.”

Tian stayed low as his heart raced, he weaved past a woman in a billowing purple dress who blew a whistle, past a man who shouted as he ripped his scarlet shirt open, past a sobbing woman gagged with a black scarf, and past a broad man who held a banner aloft that proclaimed ‘The end of the world is now’.

A man off to his right in a long coat threw a black sphere into the air, it then popped and thick, pungent yellow smoke blanketed the crowd. Through the rank haze and between the banners, the flags and fluttering streamers, he caught a glimpse of a wall of men in black.

The road up ahead forked and the way to the left was barred by ranks of body armoured, baton wielding police, and behind their massed formation the regal cream facades and colonnades were lit by glimmering red and blue lights. Further service support was above in the shape of grey police harriers and Royal Guard raptors that throbbed beneath the leaden cloud, their lights ablaze, their monitors no doubt trained on the river below them. Within the comfortable confines of one of the floating vehicles was Lieutenant Daxa.

A bottle bounced off Tian’s head and clattered on the ground off to his right.

“Are you all right?” Lauren asked.

He nodded sharply as he rubbed his stinging scalp and looked up as dozens of bottles, streamers, smoke spheres and fire crackers sailed overhead toward the police lines, like a barrage of archers’ arrows. A clear, shimmering concave shield extended between the majestic buildings in front of the police line, it sealed off the avenue at the left fork. As the deluge of missiles bounced off the defensive screen ripples pulsed out from the impacts, like stones being thrown in a still pond.

“Daxa,” Tian said, as he looked up with his hand to his ear.

“Yes, sir,” came the reply.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know where the order came from but the police have been instructed to divert the march away from Parliament Village. They’re sealing off the quarter now and steering the protest through Waterwell Avenue into Princess Park in Arandene.”

“They had Permissions for the Village,” said Lauren.

Over the noise, Tian picked out the angry bee-like drone of the shield generator as they approached the left fork, its humming harmonics pitched up and down with each missile that struck its glistening surface. A jagged rock flew from out of the crowd and bounced off the screen to a raucous cheer, where they had managed to find rocks, Tian did not know, but it was quickly followed by another and as the trickle became a flood the police tightened up their ranks.

“Daxa, what’s going on ahead of us?”

“Sir, the protestors are probing the shields on Waterwell Avenue that lead into the Village, two of them are buckling but all are presently holding. Additionally, the Royal Guard has just been deployed from General Kalaman Barracks to reinforce the police lines.”

“We’re approaching the Woolfe Street shield now,” Tian said as he looked up into a sky that was rapidly darkening. “How’s it holding up?”

“Not well, sir, it may fail.”

Tian ducked as another bottle clipped his head and then shattered on the pavement. He turned to the yelling man in the ripped scarlet shirt whose face was contorted as spittle flew from his mouth, as the woman in the purple dress shouted profanities, as the sobbing woman with the black gag covered her ears, as Tian stumbled and fell and as the ground trembled Petra laughed and tossed her light blonde hair. His trousers ripped and his knee scraped along the cobblestones as Lauren grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back onto his feet.

“Tian?”

“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” His heart sprinted as he brushed his trousers, dabbed his knee and felt grit in the wound. He straightened up and looked at his hand, there was blood on his fingers, perhaps he had done more than just graze it. A heavy droplet of water landed on a nail and diluted the blood, as the crack, crack, crack of weapons fire punctured the air followed by a wave of screaming.

“Agent Brooke.”

It was Daxa. “Go ahead,” Tian replied.

“Sir, the Woolfe Street shield has collapsed. The protestors are surging into the ranks of police, they’re brawling and throwing missiles. The troopers are fighting back, they’re firing warning shots, using their batons and they’re about to fire pepper gas into the crowd. The police are being pushed back and the Royal Guard are being rushed in behind them.”

He turned to Lauren.  “It fits, doesn’t it?”

Lauren nodded as he pulled a black felt pouch from his leather satchel. Tian stood on his tiptoes and as he strained for even a snatched glance at the breach he caught a glimpse of thick, white billowing fog as it flooded into the marchers from the end of Woolfe Street. The shrieks of hundreds tore through the dead stillness and as heavy droplets began to splash on his face and the air rapidly cooled Tian was pushed in the back as the crowd surged.

Lauren was shoved. “Damn it,” he growled, as his silver palmtop spilled from his hand.

Tian dove forward and caught the monitor before it smashed on the concrete. He gripped Lauren’s arm and thrust the instrument back into his palm.

“I’ve got you, Chief, keep at it,” he said, as the flow of crowd increased speed. “Daxa.” A high pitched screeching blasted into his head and the two men wrenched the wireless receivers from their ears.

“Hell fire,” Lauren shouted, and stamped on the miniature device.

Tian craned his neck upwards and as rain cascaded the harriers’ and raptors’ sparkling red and blue lights flashed across the rupturing clouds, a bruised canvas.

“Tian.” Lauren tugged his sleeve and pointed to his palmtop, the instrument displayed a glowing map of the immediate area above its flat screen. There was an eruption of vibrant, primary blue light that emanated from the centre of the clash at the junction of Woolfe Street and Waterwell Avenue.

A single fork of blue lightning blazed from the furious sky and struck the junction and as a crashing boom smacked the air glass shattered in a wave from the centre of the strike outwards, and as the tide of breaking glass swept past him a blast of naked rage ripped through him, like a hot, hurricane wind. Tian grabbed Lauren, pulled him to the shaking ground and threw himself on top of him, his arms over the Chief’s head. The coffee cup was a simple, white ceramic affair which suited the quiet cafe. He clamped his eyes shut as white noise howled. And in a slow and considered manner he lifted the wide rimmed cup to his lips and savoured sips of the deliciously sweetened milky drink.

Tian absently gazed beyond the vacant wooden table before him into the wild gardens beyond the open bay window. The abundance of flowers dripped with dew and burst with vivid colour, their lush scents gently drifted in with the cool spring air and their sweet fragrances were a pleasant contrast to the heavenly aroma of bubbling coffee and freshly baked pastries. If only the gentleman sat behind him would stop rustling his broadsheet newspaper and the two teenagers to his left stop publicly engaging in their lust, then all would be well.

His legs were casually stretched out under the round table instead of tightly tucked under a cushion-less, cold metal chair, he held a thick brand-new paperback instead of a fifty-page report in need of review by yesterday, and he thumbed a battered postcard of the Yanyarbe range of old instead of red-lit page tabs.

It was a quiet delight to rest in his skin as his body pleasantly ached with a contented tiredness that seemed to ooze out of his limbs in long and lazy waves, and as his head lolled slowly forward his mind unfurled as his eyes closed by slow degrees.

The scraping of wood on tiles jolted him and he bolted upright, wide awake, as a young, slim woman in a little black dress sat down at the table opposite him. As she blew a long lock of light blonde hair from her face his breath caught in his throat as the uniformed waiter carefully placed a coffee cup and a tall glass of iced lemon water before her.

“Thank you,” she said in a low voice, her face alight as she warmly smiled. The waiter bowed at the waist, an almost imperceptible gesture, and as he quietly withdrew.

Tian watched entranced as she stirred the thin layer of dark chocolate into the creamy foam, she delicately placed the silver spoon on the saucer and as she stretched and groaned with apparent contentment he could not help but smile as his gaze wandered from the fine hairs on her tanned, bare arms up to the delightful slope of her shoulders, the elegant curve of her neck, her sweet round chin and her sensuous, pursed lips … she stared at him with her eyebrows raised.

Tian promptly looked down at the table and despite having only just started the novel he opened the paperback midway through the last chapter and held his gaze on the first word his eye settled on. He raised gaze for a glance and his anxiety was transformed into relief for she smiled at him, it was a kind and, it seemed to him, a knowing gesture for which he was most grateful. He brought a hand to his cleanly shaved face and cleared his throat. A thick glob of grit-laden phlegm landed in the rain by his side, and as he lay across Lauren his head pounded and his body felt broken, as though he had been in a street fight he had badly lost. Her exquisite blue eyes sparkled with gentle humour as she lazily sipped her coffee. He crawled off the Chief onto his knees and winced as pain shot through his wound and radiated into his body. He screwed up his eyes tight, ground his teeth and growled, and as the fireworks behind his eyelids dissipated, his breathing and the smarting eased, and he shook glass from his brown leather jacket and slowly sat up.

Pain radiated through his aching limbs as he pushed himself up onto his unsteady feet and stared, numb, at a river of prone bodies haphazardly draped with banners, flags and streamers. At his feet, the woman with the black gag stirred as the man with the ripped scarlet shirt and the woman in the purple dress lay beneath her unmoving. Ahead of him, a woman with greying hair pushed herself up onto her hands, as a young man beside her raised himself up onto his knees, as a woman behind him in a dirty trouser suit struggled to her feet, their faces were still and expressionless, like mannequins.

His feet crunched glass as he turned through a slow circle, not one of the wrought iron street lamps were lit, the cream facades and columns were no longer splashed with primary colours and only darkness lay beyond the broken window panes. The dead still air was filled with powdery grey dirt, billowing black smoke and thousands of sheets of fluttering white paper, and the only sounds he could pick out were the crackle of flames, the teeming of rain and the rumbling in the sky.

As Lauren noisily cleared his throat, spat, and then began the struggle to sit up, Tian breathed evenly as he attempted to slow his hammering heart, as, through the haze, he looked up the shadowy building to his left. A police harrier had crashed into the roof, the vehicle’s power appeared to be offline and its engine grid hung precariously over the edge of the building. Masonry, shattered glass and smashed slate had spewed out into the avenue from the point of impact and had rained down onto the prostrate crowd. He looked up further still into the imperious weather, not one vehicle floated above him.

He turned around with cautiousness he felt reserved for a man twice his age, his breath caught in his throat as he looked into the smashed cockpit of a Royal Guard raptor that had slammed into the middle of the static river.

“Daxa,” he whispered.

A brilliant sheet of blue lightning blazed across the wrathful cloud as thunder smacked the air and a shockwave reverberated in his bones, and as night became day screams of terror pierced the silence and Tian whipped his head back toward Woolfe Street as the avenue was again plunged into murky darkness.

“Come on,” Tian said, as he dragged Lauren to his feet.

Pain spiked through his feet and up his legs as they picked their way through the sprawl of tangled bodies, he gripped Lauren by the arm and led him through the uneven carpet of twisted limbs as the Chief shook his dead palmtop. A thin hand reached up to Tian and he looked down upon a young woman’s contorted face as tears fell from eyes lit with fear as blood dripped generously from her temple. He shoved thought that screamed at him to pause and help and emotion that stung him for not doing so aside as he pressed on, for as much as he may want to this was not the time to stop.

His skin tingled and his scalp was suddenly cold. “Can you feel it?” he said, as he rubbed the goose flesh on his arm.

“Yes, I can,” Lauren replied. “Can you hear them?”

Tian closed his eyes, there was a distant wailing. “Sirens?”

“I think so.”

If sirens were closing, then the pulse had not knocked out the entire city, and that would surely mean police, ground troops and the Royal Guard would not be far behind. He pushed his leaden limbs into a run and though he desperately tried not to he couldn’t help but kick legs and step on arms as he jumped over inert and waking bodies and side stepped hands that reached to grasp his trouser legs.

An unseen hand grabbed his ankle and the air was forced from his lungs as he slammed into the rain and blood drenched road and narrowly avoided jagged glass. Ahead of him was a dead man in a green shirt and black trousers, the body was face down and blood pooled around the head. As Tian’s nostrils flared and his breathing raced, he inched cautiously closer as his blood ran ice cold.

Suspended in the air around the body were thousands of tiny pieces of green and black fabric, little clumps of pale flesh, soft tissue and globules of blood. Each element was being drawn toward the body, and as he stared and held his breath, fearful to disrupt the display, he followed a fragment of cloth as it settled into a gap in the shirt, like a missing puzzle piece. In a few brief seconds the spectacle had ceased and the corpse was whole.

“Lauren, tell me you see this?”

“I see it, I see it,” he replied, as he crouched next to Tian.

“We have no recorders?”

“The pulse knocked it out.”

Tian could not stare at the body a moment longer, he pushed himself hurriedly away from the dead, he had to get away from the aberration, and as he backed into another inert body, he sat onto his haunches, coughed until his throat hurt and then looked up toward Woolfe Street as an old man rose up on his knees, his head held in his hands as he and rocked back and forth and stared at the body of a young man in front of him. A man with a thick grey beard stood up next to him and turned in slow, uncertain circles as his eyes darted from one body to the next, as a woman in a long dress screamed without pause and pulled at her long hair as the eyes of a young, silent girl were fixed unblinking on the eyes of the dead face she stared into.

The air began to throb with the thump of approaching vehicles and it was not long before the clanging sirens from above overwhelmed the cries of distress on the ground. Shouted orders were then added to the discordance as police, troops and Royal Guard poured into the avenue with their weapons trained.

He looked into the Chief’s glazed eyes through a golden cigar shaped tube of light that surrounded him, as Lauren covered his mouth with a hand that shook. As Tian forced his sore body upright he reached into his shirt and pulled out a thick silver chain, and as his shiny identification badge came into view he was bathed in a golden tube of light. He ran a hand over his face and scratched his bearded cheek, and as his breathing levelled out he allowed himself a glimpse into his punch drunk mind and found only incomprehension staring back at him.

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Meridian - 01 - Troops 01

A stiff mandarin collar dug into Tian’s neck, the form of the brilliant white shirt was levelled out by dark blue epaulettes with shiny gold piping, trams could run on the creases in his freshly pressed black trousers and his black shoes shone as brightly as they did on his passing out parade. There was a time when he took great care in achieving the refined lines of uniform, these days he relied entirely on the Army’s clothiers.

As the agent jumped from the battered armoured carrier onto a slimy surface of glistening mud and machine oil, he lowered his gaze and listened. He was just able to make out the low-pitched beat of hawk engines close to the carrier’s position, their air cover flew dark and with sound dampened. The agent looked up into the downpour as electricity popped incessantly within the rolling blanket of pendulous black cloud. Off to the left, beyond the secure compound’s high stone walls, sensors and elemorphic fences, white lightening forked to the ground accompanied by a belting crack of thunder.

Dozens of young, stern faced, helmeted troops in desert colours and body armour, with belts of ammunition slung over their shoulders, fanned out from the squat personnel carriers and ran toward South Bayoun’s grey stone gatehouse, their utility packs slapped against their sides as they trained their bulky weapons ahead. The troop’s stocky lieutenant marched with his back straight and his hands clasped behind his back, the moustached officer seemed oblivious to the lashing storm.

The agent turned and looked back toward the stationary vehicles, two soldiers who incessantly chewed tightly guarded Tian’s team of three as they followed the troop, their faces were gaunt and pale, they were weapon-less and breathed heavily as they lugged heavy-duty camouflaged cases through the foul weather toward the gatehouse’s open arched doorway.

Tian’s arms were tightly folded, his limbs were locked and his gaze fixed ahead as he squinted, for beyond the gatehouse was the vague outline of a much larger facility hidden within the stormy shadows. White lightening blazed and as thunder reverberated through him a black, hulking building loomed out of the pitch dark.

“Captain Lynd, thank God you’ve arrived,” a Corporal said, as he strode out of the gatehouse into the sheeting rain.

The Captain stood at ease before the drawn soldier. “Has discipline broken down here, Corporal?”

The Corporal snapped to attention and his hand shook as he saluted. “No sir, my apologies, sir.” The thin soldier’s eyes were bloodshot and his teeth chattered.

Lynd casually returned the salute, a gesture that seemed laden with sarcasm. “Name?”

“Goodman, sir.”

“Are you the highest rank here?”

“The-the only soldier of rank left, sir.”

“What happened here, Corporal?”

“It was a live fire exercise, sir, but how could we have foreseen … how could we have known, sir.”

As Tian stepped forward his shoes squeaked on the smooth, black reflective floor. He glanced at a glowing display by his feet to find her name. “Agent Nyah.”

“Yes, sir,” the agent replied, as Tian’s view of events dipped down to the mud.

“Time is ticking,” he said quietly.

Tian jolted as the facility’s locking mechanism popped with a booming clang that echoed around his still chamber. As the great iron doors sluggishly opened crackling sparks were spat into the rain, and as the wheels ground in their runners the screeching of metal on metal sent cold shivers racing up and down his spine.

The soldier to the agent’s right adjusted his helmet mounted camera, inspected his wrist power meter, pulled at his ammunition belt, snatched a look over his assault rifle and then inspected his meter again. Captain Lynd strode forward to the threshold of the facility and stood with his legs apart, he popped a stick of gum into his mouth and placed his hands on his hips as he peered into the facility’s darkness. He then took in a long breath and waved the troops in.

Tian’s heartbeat picked up speed and pressure built behind his eyes, as an array of virtual windows appeared at his feet and his eye flitted from one display to the next. He settled on the soldier on point and watched as the man cautiously stepped into a cavernous space that layouts at his side told him was a multi-levelled space the size of two football fields. He switched to a soldier who stepped up to an offline deck-to-ceiling holographic projectors, he then switched to a soldier who had come across dozens of blackened shell casings and scattered assault rifles.

“Agent Brooke.”

“Yes, Nyah?” Tian replied.

Tian’s chest tightened and he dug his nails into his hands as the Agent panned her camera up from a pair of scuffed combat boots to legs and up to a torso clothed in desert colours. Nyah then zoomed in on the body’s head, it was spattered with dirt and crusted with blood, and a mouth that had once passed breath was locked agape and eyes that had once held life appeared to have horror frozen upon their glassy surfaces. Nyah stepped to her right and revealed another body face down in the filth with another alongside it curled up tight into the foetal position.

Tian exhaled slowly and lowered his head. “Badge seven-seven-three,” he muttered.

Dozens of beams of torchlight bounced off the curved frosted mirrored walls and the labyrinth of floating, gleaming floors softly lit through coloured gels. Police officers in dark blue uniforms and black helmets silently picked their way through a sea of bodies that appeared to be afloat on a dissolving, undulating mist.

The agent swung his gaze away from the officers on the lower level and moved away from the clear platform shield, and as he stepped slowly across a golden octagonal floor his breathing became ragged as he trod on a slim arm decorated with sparkling rings and bangles, and kicked a pair of twisted legs in fine heels and hosiery. He shone his black pencil torch ahead of him and the sharp focused beam picked out seven golden steps that led up to a large circular level and two semi-clad male bodies slumped by a pillar. To his left were another seven golden steps that led down to a lower level and an almost identical pair of motionless male bodies.

The agent cleared his throat and ducked an idly spinning glitter mirror as he climbed the steps. His laboured breathing filled Tian’s cold chamber as he stepped onto the platform, lumbered toward a cocktail bar and gripped its golden handrail. Shattered bottles lined the bar’s smashed mirrored walls and coloured liquids had run down the gleaming surfaces and pooled on the floor. Tian gave the scene just a cursory once over for his vision was taken by the agent’s hands, the man’s knuckles were white and his arms shook. A display at his feet revealed him the name of yet another draftee to his mushrooming department.

“Nice and slowly, Agent Fields,” Tian said quietly and he hoped reassuringly. “There’s no hurry.”

“Yes, sir,” came the rasping reply.

The agent stepped down into a secluded alcove and crouched by a long corner sofa with a leopard-skin print. The body of a tall man with a glistening bare muscled chest lay sprawled across brightly coloured cushions, his eyes were fixed open and glazed. The body of a petite woman in a short fitted red dress lay across one of the sofa arms, a low cut, high heeled red shoe dangled from her slim foot. Tian’s view of events dropped to the golden floor as the agent’s breathing became short and shallow.

“Agent Fields, you may go offline.”

“Thank you, sir.”

The image froze.

The only sounds that remained in the black chamber were the soothing hum of the air conditioning and Tian’s forced slow breathing. He took a step forward and, mindful of his knee dressing, crouched in front of the unmoving three-dimensional image.

“Pull back to time index seven-thirty-four-spot-seven-thirty-nine.”

Torchlight starkly lit the washed out face of the dead woman in the fitted red dress. The pain he was convinced he saw locked in time behind her solidified corneas spoke to something terrifying, how was it that every single corpse he had observed from these wretched events had that same naked fear etched into the fabric of their passing?

He stood, turned his back to the dead and fixed his gaze on the smooth floor. The constriction that gripped his throat eased only a little as he roughly massaged his temples. Thank goodness his stomach was empty. He raised his head and stood perfectly still as he attempted to push his thoughts aside, unwanted as they were, as he searched for a place in his mind where he could rest, a gap he was certain existed but was hidden from his vision, a blissful space where forgiveness and ease resided. As his heart slowed from its sprint, he growled and stretched his back as hard as he could.

As it cracked and creaked, and pain shot through his shoulders and spine, broken images of the faces of the Waterwell Avenue dead flashed into his mind’s eye. What in hell was he doing? What made him think he was even vaguely qualified to investigate events that were spiralling out of control? How could he stand before General Hoth and attempt to present a rational explanation and a plan for countering phenomena that he barely understood and defied logic? He saw the symptoms as plain as day but was entirely blind to their cause, but then, they all saw the blasted symptoms. To say he was out of his depth was beyond understatement.

A hairline crack appeared in the dance floor and a smooth sliding door revealed itself, it then quietly hissed open and Alain Lauren stepped in. The Chief wore the same dishevelled civilian clothes from Waterwell Avenue, his shoulders were curved inward and his body was hunched, his long face was drawn and his tanned skin did nothing to mask heavy black bags that seemed to weigh down the skin beneath his bloodshot eyes. Tian took Lauren softly by the wrist and led him to three silver chairs by the door.

His Investigative Chief did not seem to notice the bead of sweat that ran down his cheek, as he slumped onto the metal chair, dropped his hands into his lap and tightly interlaced his fingers. As his head lolled forward and thick, grey shoulder-length hair flopped before his face, Tian slowly sat down next to him.

“I … I didn’t think it would actually happen to us.” Lauren said, his voice was low and scratchy. “I thought by knowing it so precisely somehow it would just be prevented. It’s ludicrous now I think of it.”

Lauren reached into a worn pocket and pulled out a battered packet of cigarettes, and as Tian sat forward, his brow furrowed, acrid smoke billowed in front of the Chief’s face, and as he shook his head rhythmically Tian patted the Chief’s knee lightly and forced a smile. It seemed to work, for as he pulled on his cigarette, Lauren’s face cracked a little and a faint smile curled upward.

“We saw it,” Tian whispered, “finally.”

“But what does it give us?”

Tian sat back and raised his hands. “Well, we know at last for certain it is a molecular disruption causing death.”

The Chief slapped his hands on his legs. “We don’t know that, Tian. We’ve believed a molecular disruption of some description was taking place from the start, but it’s not the cause and you know it.” Tian closed his eyes, as a wave of heat pulsed through his mind, and as Lauren brushed ash from his trousers his brow creased as he raised his voice. “Not one of us came close to modelling the disruption that took place after the blackout, and if you want me to name a cause then how’s this: magic. And that’s before I try to take into account what you blithely call ‘intelligence’ that led us to Waterwell Avenue in the first place.”

“I do hear you, Chief.” Tian rubbed the bridge of his nose as his head had begun to throb, the pressure behind his eyeballs had forged a path to the forefront of his attention. Rubbing his nose was pointless, what he needed to relieve the ache was to reacquaint himself with the half bottle of single malt tucked away in the back of his desk drawer. “Look, I’ll be honest with you, Alain, right now, with these things escalating it seems exponentially and on a daily basis I am simply grateful we have intelligence even if it is a thread we don’t understand. Please, don’t let …”

The door slid open and an immaculately dressed officer in the Royal Guard’s red, silver and black uniform stepped into the chamber.

“Ouch,” Tian said, and grimaced, as he stood and pointed to the white patch on Eva Daxa’s forehead. “Are you all right?”

“Sir, I have a lousy headache,” Daxa replied, in her long, warm eastern drawl. “I could do without the nausea as well.”

“Do you remember anything?”

“Sir, I remember seeing the event and the loss of power in the vehicle that followed, but I don’t remember a great deal after that. I understand the raptor I was aboard landed on a roof and, I’m told, I smacked my head on a panel. We fell only a few feet and we all walked away from it with just a few bumps and bruises.” The young Lieutenant looked into his eyes and glared. “We were the fortunate ones, sir, the crews that hit the deck were not and nor were the people beneath their vehicles.”

Tian nodded but slammed the door on the images and the distress that sprang up in his mind, and the concern that washed into him, for he could not think of it, now was not the time. “Should you even be here?” he asked, the last thing he wanted was to exasperate the Lieutenant’s injury.

“Probably not, sir.” She pointed to the scene. “Another event?”

“Yes,” Tian replied, slowly, as he cautiously turned back to the sofa.

“Do we have a count yet, sir?” Daxa asked.

“No, not for the whole of Jeradine, but as we stand Waterwell Avenue, including the crashes from the skylanes caught within the range of the pulse, is in the order of four-thousand dead and so far today there have been seven events across the country, three of which were here in the city.”

“Sir, those numbers are double the whole of last week put together,” Daxa said, as she shook her head and furrowed her brow. “And if I’m not mistaken that’s almost last months entire count in one morning.”

Tian bit his lip and simply nodded at her incredulous face, he had no words for the Lieutenant, nothing at all in fact that might take the sting out of the new string of disasters. Without a thought, he pointed to the nightclub. “This erm … was actually the first.”

“Where is it?” Lauren asked, as he stood.

“Silk Mills tucked away in Holdale, an apparently fashionable establishment among the young, even considering the lack of content.”

Tian and Lauren folded their arms as Daxa clasped her hands behind her back. As they stood side by side and stared at the dead upon the leopard-skin sofa the stillness that surrounded Tian was reflected back into his mind. For once, the incessant swirling formation and dissolution of his thoughts and emotions had miraculously settled with the silence, as though the quietness of the outer environment had merged with his inner landscape, as if they had as one become a flat calm. It was no doubt only a momentary glimpse of quiet, one that would be swept away in an instant.

Out of his peripheral vision he saw Daxa’s head turn to him, he could almost feel her stare piercing the side of his head. “Sir, if you’ll excuse me I need to report this to General Hoth.” Tian nodded, as his gaze returned to the dead woman in the fitted red dress. The Lieutenant’s shoes squeaked as she smartly about-faced and marched from chilly room.

If he could make it to the scene in time, Tian would stand still in the wake of an event and soak in the charged atmosphere that followed the fury that flared for an instant and unleashed pain of an untold lifespan. He would try to memorise the sights, and take in the smells and textures, and over the years they had meticulously analysed and catalogued hundreds of thousands of images, samples and readings, and they had written hundreds of reports that always ended with impressions and theories but never conclusions. And they had looked upon the desperation in the eyes of the dead again and again and it seemed that no amount of skill, effort, patience or luck could begin to explain the outlandish anomalies that killed in ever frightening numbers and seemed only to be exponentially increasing in frequency, scale and ferocity.

Lauren placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it as he glanced back at Silk Mills, growled and slouched, and then ambled from the chamber. As the door quietly sealed behind him the chamber vibrated.

Tian looked upon the young woman’s painted face as his throat again constricted for she had died in the bloom of life. All he asked for was a clue as to why, a toehold on the inside of what she had seen and what had caused her to pass so suddenly. She blinked. The solution had to be there in front of him, glaring at and taunting him, and despite what General Hoth would have the Queen believe this was not and had never been the Yarcatzn military. She blinked again and smiled broadly as the teenagers kissed and played with each other’s hair, and as Tian hid behind his novel and shook his head a wide beam crept across his face.

“Can you remember a time when you were so uninhibited?” she asked.

“No, ‘uninhibited’ is not a word I’m well acquainted with.” Tian looked down into his half full coffee cup.

“That’s a shame.”

“I really wouldn’t know.” He glanced back up and caught a smirk that had to be mischievous, and as he felt his face flush he cleared his throat and racked his mind searching for something to say, anything. “So, you sound like you were born in the city?”

She nodded slowly. “Indeed, from behind one of the mustard facades in West Palentine.” She held his gaze as her smile transformed into a grin. “And your accent suggests you were not?”

He looked away. “Ah, no.”

“I’d say you’re a South Country lad, Yaltran maybe.”

“Further south, Black Barn.”

“Really?” She frowned. “You hide it well.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“My name is Petra.”

“T-Tian. Tian. Tian.” He coughed. “My name is Tian.”

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green

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What if you woke to find you had unlimited power?

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tia-green-00-lightening

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Tia Green is having a very bad day. The rain has soaked her to the skin; she has battled another muggy rush hour only to arrive late at the office, forcing another run in with the lecherous thug known as her boss. Her self esteem has never been so low, her fantasies of a carefree life never so vivid.

That evening, after stumbling upon her boyfriend in bed with her best friend, Tia’s suffering spikes to new heights. In its aftermath, she discovers a magical change in the fabric of her existence: she can do anything, she can be anyone and go anywhere. High on her newfound power, she ditches all that holds her down in favour a fabulously rich and indulgent lifestyle. The veil of glamour soon fades, her insecurities quickly return, those who have trodden on her wander her mind, and those who irritate prick her senses. Her unlimited power leads her to choices that carry unforeseen and terrifying consequences …

~

I wrote Tia Green in 2004 in a blur of inspired frenzy. The original work was in need of some crafting and I spent a few of the middle months of 2008 redrafting the piece. The story is in six chapters and all are available to read.

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The story was inspired by, ‘The Words of My Perfect Teacher’, by Patrul Rinpoche.

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All material is copyright © Richard Clarke

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The Brief Life of Tia Green – One

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tia-green-01-distress

Sparkle

Tia Green stood in the hammering rain in the middle of a street. She looked to the side of the road; the footpath was a few feet away. There was no-one around, there was no wind and no sound. She had no idea why she was there. A moment ago she was at work.

The rain stopped. The sun came out. The birds began to sing.

She was wet, almost to the skin. Why hadn’t she put up an umbrella? What was going on in her head, it was pathetic. She hadn’t been at work, she was going to work. It was first thing in the morning, a little after eight. Hadn’t she left home on time?

Her heart sprinted as she looked up and then bolted for the footpath. What a ridiculous bloody idiot. As she trudged towards the train station, her feet squelched in cold, scuffed shoes, her teeth chattered, shame filled her burning cheeks, her head was hung low. She must have lost her marbles to be standing vacantly in the middle of the street for all to see.

A woman roughly pushed past her.

“Sorry,” Tia said, quietly.

Wait a minute, the woman hadn’t pushed past her, she had rudely pushed in front of her. Who did the old bat think she was? She should say something, stand up for herself. Instead, she dug her chipped nails into the palms of her hands. What would be the point in making a scene? Stupidity was something she excelled at, why encourage it.

She looked at her black plastic watch, but was unable to see it properly, her glasses were wet. She hunted for a tissue, even a torn, scrunched up used one would do. Her train was going to be here any second. Come on, come on. The man at the front of the queue left, latte in hand, and ran for the platform. Was that wheel squeal she could hear in the distance?

“Erm, now, let me see,” the woman who had pushed in front of her said loudly. “What do I want?”

A poke in the eye? A stamp on the foot? A dig in the ribs? Take your pick.

“Hmm, yes, I’ll have a skinny cappuccino.”

The doors slid closed with a resounding thud just as Tia was about to jump on the packed, graffiti-ridden train. Damn it. As the train pulled away, she caught sight of the rude woman, stood by the door, sipping her cappuccino. Perhaps she’d burn her throat.

Fifteen minutes later, and five minutes late, another train arrived. She glared at her watch, willing the second hand to slow down. Maybe things would be fine, there was still time to be on time. The train doors slid open with a pained screech and a groan, and a dozen tired, sullen faces glanced wearily at her. A couple of boys listened to mp3 players turned up to eleven, workmen in their dusty and paint stained t-shirts and ripped jeans sat on rusty tool boxes, while sharply suited men and women strained to read newspapers, or just stared blankly at the carriage’s grubby, wet floor, masterfully avoiding each other’s glances. Well, it didn’t matter how many were on the train, she had to get to work.

The doors slid closed and trapped her black raincoat. A quiet, still voice in the back of her mind knew that giving it a good hard tug was not the thing to do, and the material ripped loudly as she did so. Oh, now that was just wonderful. She couldn’t afford repairs; it was days until payday, and even then, she couldn’t afford it. It was muggy, she was wet, the people around her were wet, the person next to her had seriously bad breath, she was perilously close to running late and now her coat had long tear in it.

As the train inched painfully slowly towards the filthy city, she glanced up and stared at a tall man’s greying nasal hair.

The train slowed to a stop.

“Sorry for the delay,” the driver said, “this is due to …”

The sound faded to silence. It didn’t matter what the driver said, for it meant only one thing, she would be late. Her teeth clenched as she stood rigid, her breathing racing.

It was eleven minutes past nine. She furiously shook her umbrella, yanked the door open and just as she was about to pelt it into the office, she saw Nick marching toward her. What possessed people to invent open plan offices? Why couldn’t there be just a little room for her to duck into so he could simply wander by without noticing her, but no, little rooms didn’t exist anymore. It was a conspiracy. Now the weasel would see for sure she was late.

Her glasses promptly steamed up as she stepped into the overheated office. She glanced over the thick lenses and could just make out Nick’s pursed lips and exaggerated a stare at his bony wrist. Perhaps if he shook his head a bit more vigorously it would fall off. Wouldn’t that be fun?

“I’ll talk to you later, Tia,” Nick said. He should have been born a drill sergeant.

“That bloody man,” Tia spat, as she took off her dripping coat and held it in front of her, the rip was a good ten centimetres in length. “All I wanted was some coffee.”

“I’ve often wondered what it would be like to just say a few words and have the whole world understand you.”

“Michael, I’m sorry.” She turned to her colleague. “Some geriatric idiot pushed in front of me in the coffee shop and made me miss the train.”

“Why’d you leave it so late?”

“I … I hadn’t.” Even if there were eight or nine people in the shuffling queue, she had always managed to buy a cup of steaming coffee and be on the platform for the train a good five minutes before it pulled up to the platform.

She looked at Michael and shook her head in bemusement. He smiled at her, kindly, warmly. He had a gorgeous smile and a beautiful face. Actually, come to think of it, he really wasn’t that good looking at all: he had a funny chin and thick eyebrows, but there was something seriously hot about him. That cute little ass, maybe. No, stop it, now. He had a wife. Not to mention her boyfriend, Craig, was in her creaky bed sleeping off his night shift.

She sat, sighed, and turned to her aging computer.

“Yes, is that the I.T. helpdesk?” Tia asked, cradling the slim phone against her shoulder. “I can’t get into my email again … It won’t open … It just won’t open … No, I don’t know.” If I knew what was wrong would I be phoning you? “I just can’t … okay … right.” Double click on this. “Yep.” Double click on that, and, well what do you know, zilch. “Nothing, once again.” What was it with her and machines? “Reboot?” How original.

“Bloody hell,” she spat, as paper jammed in the ancient printer … again.

Another file was dropped in her overflowing in-tray.

She knocked a plastic cup of water over her keyboard.

Inside, she screamed and screamed until her head exploded.

Her gaze was on the indifferent white tiling, as she absently stirred her instant coffee. The hell with it, she added another heaped teaspoon of white sugar. And then another. Loving sickly sweetness, how could I not adore you? If only everything could be sweetness. But then, why was it everything she loved was so terribly bad for her? The hell with it, with each sip, she relaxed another delicious degree. Caffeinated sugar was a wonderful way to calm the mind.

“So -” She jolted, spilling coffee on her arm. “- why were you late?”

Pain charged through her. Was that really necessary? Her hands shook as she slowly and carefully placed the mug on the counter and turned to Nick, who stood tall in the tight doorway to the office’s confined kitchen, arms folded, exit blocked. The stinging gave way to throbbing.

“Well?” he asked.

Her breathing steadied as she wiped the cooling coffee from the sleeve of her white blouse with a tissue. “Look, I’m sorry. I missed my train, I didn’t mean to.” Just don’t ask about the keyboard.

“With this much work to do you will make an effort to be in on time.”

With this much work to do why aren’t you out there doing some of it?

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been late this month, is it?”

Her cheeks burned as she looked up at him, shaking her head vigorously. That wasn’t true and he damn well knew it.

“Your appraisal is due tomorrow and I’ll be the one writing it.”

Her heart pounded, she felt sure it was threatening to leap out of her chest. “Yes, I know.” She couldn’t face another year without a pay rise or a bonus. She desperately needed to get her credit card bill cleared, and she worked as hard for the damned company as anyone else. And that included the office tramps that regularly dropped their designer pants and miraculously received healthy pay rises.

Nick looked back into the corridor, and then stepped into the kitchen until they were toe to toe. His face softened.

“You do know it’s not me, it’s the pressure Rita puts on me.”

She nodded her head as she backed into the kitchen counter. He ran his hand over her arm, his fingers skirting the damp patch. It was as though every cell in her being had locked.

“I want to give you a great appraisal.”

She wanted to shove a red hot iron in his face.

He smiled crookedly.

Huffing, she slumped back in her chair, her face dropping into her hands. Her brow creased and her stomach tightened as a lump promptly grew in her throat. No, no and absolutely no to public displays of pathetic weakness.

It was one twenty. Well, she was damned if she was going to work through another unpaid lunch hour. Cooling air was needed, a brisk walk to clear out the rancid energy from her veins. Actually, what she really wanted was a little therapy, or perhaps even a lot.

She held out the short black skirt before her. It was perfect, divine. She had just the pair of delightful, strappy party heels to go with it. All eyes would be on trim Tia as she danced sensuously on Saturday night, her trusted girlfriends from way back would admire and complement her taste, and chiselled men in elegant suits would but her cocktails and ask for her number. Rubbish. Even if it was black she’d look fat in it. It would certainly show off something: stumpy tree trunk legs that stuck out from below a giggling mountain sized arse covered in black material stretched to near tearing. Not to mention the fact she couldn’t afford it. A tin of beans would be luxury.

God, if only she was a size eight. And while on the subject, if only she was a tall, curvy bombshell instead of a bumpy, little thing in desperate need of some serious exercise. If only she had light, bouncy blonde hair instead of the boring straight brown mess lumped indifferently on top her itching scalp. If only she had luscious full red lips and crystal green eyes instead of pale thin lips and sagging black bags under mud coloured eyes. A sprinkling of faint freckles over silken skin would be nice as well, instead of thick cheap make-up to hide the three huge spots that were on the verge of erupting across her face. A cute, little heart shaped bum to go with her full, well shaped …

Who or what was she kidding? Her wardrobe was ridiculous, pitiful, and she certainly didn’t have flash strappy heels for a foxy skirt. Why did people think shopping made them feel better? Did it make her trains run on time? Did it solve the fact she wanted to rip Nick’s throat out? Did it make Craig treat her any better?

Her mind’s eye saw her workload piled higher than a skyscraper. She grunted and hung the apparently gorgeous skirt back on the rail.

“Hiya hon,” she said to Miranda. “Oh, I just need to chat.” She stared at her monitor. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb. Are you in tonight?” Her brain was slushy, sloshing mush. “It’s just work and, you know, stuff that grinds.” What was she doing in this deathly dull job? “All right, sweetie, I’ll call you later.” Refusing to put the receiver down meant not having to look at the spreadsheet. It was elegant logic.

“I know,” Marie said, to Tia’s right. “I said to her, Liz, he’s not going to like it and she said, well, I don’t care and I said, well you better, there are girls here that don’t like it when you’re flirt with their boyfriends and she said …”

“I know, I know,” Julie interrupted, stood next to Marie. “Have you seen her after just one glass of wine, she’s all over them like a rash with her tight tops and her skirts that look like belts? I tell you, John wouldn’t stand for it if I was like that. Not that I care about what he thinks. He can go and …”

“Don’t get me started on men,” Anna said. “My Jason’s as bad as you’re John. Four pints of larger and he thinks he’s God’s gift. I tell you, when he’s drunk, if his thing was half as enthusiastic as he is I’d have no complaints.”

It wasn’t laughing; it was the cackling of gnarled witches as they were about to fly off into the night hunting prey. Tia glanced at the gossiping girls from the corner of her eye and saw them with the years piled on, their skin slack, mottled and wrinkled, white hair in plastic curlers under worn and faded headscarves, their taste in decency long gone, still wittering on about so and so and what he or she had done and when and how and why it was so terrible because they had said and behaved in such a way and, I know, Martha, tell me more, more, more rattling, prattling, rolling bloody noise, for God’s sake why wouldn’t they just shut up? Why was this endless conversation over glossy magazines full of pictures of perfect teeth, perfect spouses and perfect lives so fascinating? Why couldn’t she connect? Why had she been born a mouse?

Aloneness prowled the backdrop of her mind as emptiness echoed through her. She stared at her screen, the spreadsheet had become a blur of colour and random characters that vaguely formed letters and numbers.

“We don’t see her very often …” No, no. “It gives me great pleasure …” Not quite. “She graces the covers of our …” Nope. “Truly one of the brightest stars in the galaxy today, and we don’t see her give interviews very often, so, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to welcome the enigmatic, the vibrant, the dearly loved, Tia Green.” The audience goes wild, as she gracefully enters from stage left and throws a little wave, casually dressed in a designer silk blouse, blue jeans and cowboy boots. Another file landed on the top of her in-tray with a sickening thud.

There were fifty copies of a thirty page report to copy and bind. The melodic sound of the grey behemoth soothed her mind; finally she stood restfully still as the photocopier happily munched its way through a rain forest. It was a pause in which peace had managed to make an entrance through a side door. She smiled.

Nick’s hand lightly brushed her buttocks as he walked by.

Bastard.

There was a bang and a puff of acrid smoke from the photocopier, followed by the lights going out with a moan as a groan rippled across the office.

In the semidarkness, she picked up the phone and dialled home. They had been forced to sit at their desks twiddling their thumbs for over an hour without power. The gossiping girls revelled in Nick and Rita’s distress, as they acidly commented on their attempts to sort out the loss of electricity. The line connected and bleeped in her ear. Engaged again. What was keeping Craig on the phone?

Michael sat down opposite her. She couldn’t help it, she smiled broadly. It was criminal the way her heart lit up when he was around.

“Well,” he said, “I think Rita’s going let us go.”

Her feelings were ridiculous.

“Oh?”

Would he be kind to her, gentle?

“Yeah, I managed to catch her in the corridor; she’s been on to head office.”

Did he make love slowly, tenderly?

“Uh-huh?”

Or would he be passionately rough with her?

“Maybe in ten minutes or so.”

Either would be fine.

“Good.”

She fanned herself with a cardboard file, then picked up the phone and dialled home. Engaged again. And besides, married or not, his wife with child or not, Michael would never want her, not in a million. What would possess him to be interested in a short sighted, unfit, boring, almost thirty, size fourteen data processor? I mean really, she was just so desirable.

“If I may have your attention, please.” It was Rita, the office manager. She always avoided Rita, even though she appeared to be a kind person. How did that explain Nick? “We’re letting you go. I would like volunteers to come in early tomorrow. We have a lot of work to catch up on and the sooner we get started, the better. Overtime will be paid.”

She shook her head, of course she’d come in; the credit card wasn’t going to pay itself. It was three forty. Well, at least she’d be home early for a change.

The door alarms bleeped loudly as she sprinted for the train. She stepped into the filthy carriage just as the doors slid shut with a hiss and a slam. Perhaps her day was improving. There were only a few vacant seats left in the newspaper strewn carriage.

She slumped into an empty seat and gladly closed her eyes. Wave upon wave of tiredness seemed to ooze from her limbs. True happiness would manifest in the stillness of the suburbs. A muddy boot brushed her tights. She looked down; well of course they’d laddered at her ankle. The culprit was a stick-thin, spotty teenager with greasy, brightly coloured hair. He wore smudged sunglasses even though it was overcast and looked like rain. He bobbed his head and murmured off key, his mp3 player blaring at full volume. A young woman sat next to him in a black business suit, she read the early evening paper while eating a thick, glistening burger. It stank like rank sweat.

In her mind’s eye a giant snarling, scaly monster, with acidic drool dripping generously from its blackened, six inch fangs, leapt out of her body and bit the heads off the teenager and the business woman. She turned her head and looked out of the scratched window, trying not to laugh.

She shook her umbrella and stepped into her building. Not one drop of rain while she was on the train, and then, just as stepped from the carriage onto the platform, the heaven’s opened up and emptied a freezing ocean on top of her. Bloody typical. She kicked off her sodden shoes and tiptoed down the corridor, then stood before her front door and hunted for her keys. They were undoubtedly in the deepest, darkest corner of her ancient handbag. Ahh, there they were.

She froze. Now that ‘Ahh’ was in her head, right? Except for the rain battering down outside, there was silence. Her paranoia knew no bounds these days.

“Ahh.”

There was no way on the face of any earth that those groans were in her head. Her breathing bolted off the blocks as adrenaline flooded her body. She knelt quietly and slowly lifted the letterbox lid and listened.

“Ahh.”

There were two people in there and one of them was without question female. She ground her teeth as rage tore through her bones radiating anger to the hairs on her skin. She forced the key into the lock and burst into her flat to see Craig climbing off Miranda.

It wasn’t true. She couldn’t believe it, didn’t believe it, desperately needed to deny to it. But reality forced its way onto her retina. Her boyfriend and her best friend were naked, beneath her sheets, staring at her, horror on their glowing faces. No, no, it simply couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. It must be a terrible mistake. It had to be. He surely wasn’t … she surely wasn’t … they weren’t. Her stomach clamped tight.

Her body went numb in a lightening wave from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head. Then, there was constriction in her stomach and a tickle in her throat. The remains of lunch would soon be on her carpet, which, she saw, was strewn with clothes.

She dropped her bag, shoes and umbrella, turned and ran.

“Sweetie,” Miranda whispered.

“Tia,” Craig called.

There was no direction, just down one street and then down the next. Her feet were soon bleeding, her tights long destroyed on the concrete. Still, she ran and ran, as the cold, sheeting rain lashed at her face. She didn’t feel it. She was soaked to the skin, her suit likely ruined, she didn’t notice. As energy began to haemorrhage from her, her jog drifted down into a walk, her limbs grew heavy. She stopped, dead still, in the middle of the street.

Pure, blissful peace washed through her, cleansing her, lifting her. She felt herself shrink into a miniature ball of white light, untouched and unstained, as though she was in her mother’s womb. The ball exploded into blazing fire.

The bastard. The bitch. How long had they been mauling each other? How many ‘sleep ins’ had he used to cheat on her? It was unbelievable. She wanted to push Miranda into a corner, to stare her down, to yell at her, slap her around a bit, rip at her clothes and call her a slut, a liar, a filthy betrayer. She wanted Craig on his knees, his head low, begging for pity. She wanted to kick him in the teeth and then grab his crotch and squeeze and squeeze.

The coursing storm dissipated and she laughed out loud. A moment later, she howled with laughter, her cheeks and her sides hurting. It too subsided as quickly as it had arisen and she slumped to the ground, curled up into a tight, foetal ball and sobbed.

They’d been together for almost a year. He had only just moved in with her. She trusted him. And as for Miranda, they went to school together.

She pushed herself onto her hands and knees, to find herself drained, and her mind perfectly still, without even a single thought to ruffle the placid surface of her mind. It was as though she were a blank sheet of paper, like the future was suddenly wide open to endless possibility. Clear light surrounded her; it was warm, loving, all pervasive and endless.

She forced herself to her feet and stood in the hammering rain in the middle of a street. She looked to the side of the road; the footpath was a few feet away. There was no-one around, there was no wind and no sound. She had no idea why she was there. A moment ago she was at work.

The rain stopped. The sun came out. The birds began to sing.

She was wet, almost to the skin. Why hadn’t she put up an umbrella? What was going on in her head, it was pathetic. She hadn’t been at work, she was going to work. It was first thing in the morning, a little after eight. Hadn’t she left home on time?

Frowning, she turned through a slow three hundred and sixty degrees. Her handbag hung from her shoulder, her unopened umbrella was in her left hand, shoes were on her feet and her tights were smooth and unbroken. She looked down and opened her palm. A sparkle of curling, flickering, diamond light danced in her right hand. It tickled.

Looking up, her heart sprinted as she bolted for the footpath. What a ridiculous bloody idiot. As she trudged towards the train station, her feet squelched in cold, scuffed shoes, her teeth chattered, shame filled her burning cheeks, her head was hung low.

She must have lost her marbles to be standing vacantly in the middle of the street for all to see.

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green – Two

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tia-green-02-open1

Freedom

Tia stood stiffly in the long queue for coffee, her heart madly banging in the tight confines of her chest. No matter how forcefully she imposed scenes of still ponds, quiet summer days or plain old silence in a dark room, her breathing would not slow down. She should be in her home, soaking in a deep, hot bath generously sprinkled with soothing lavender crystals, not stood waiting in the cold for poor, lukewarm coffee hoping to goodness she wouldn’t miss the train to work.

She wiped her glasses again and looked at her watch for the fiftieth time in five minutes. It was a little after eight. The grubby white clock that hung askew on the train station wall matched her watch. And even if both her watch and the station clock were somehow wrong, the arrivals and departures monitor had her morning train listed as being due to arrive in one minute. And even if the monitor was somehow broken, the station was full and everyone around her was rushing toward the platform. It was without a doubt first thing in the morning.

A woman roughly pushed past her.

“Sorry,” Tia said, quietly.

Wait a minute, the woman hadn’t pushed past her, she had rudely pushed in front of her. Who did the old bat think she was? She should say something, stand up for herself. Instead, she dug her chipped nails into the palms of her hands. What would be the point in making a scene?

The man at the front of the queue left, latte in hand, and ran for the platform.

“Erm, now, let me see,” the woman who had pushed in front of her said loudly. “What do I want?”

A poke in the eye? A stamp on the foot? A dig in the ribs? Take your pick.

The woman screamed, doubled over, hopped and then held her face in her hands. Tia’s hand darted out to help her.

“Don’t you touch me,” the woman shouted hysterically.

“What?” Her blood ran ice cold. “I … I didn’t do anything.” She shook her head vigorously; her eyes locked wide, as she slowly backed away, turned, and bolted for the train.

Tia wrapped her raincoat around her and tightly folded her arms as the doors slammed closed, sealing her in. As the train pulled away, she caught sight of the rude woman stood on the platform, shaking her fist and shouting; her face red and contorted. Tia couldn’t help it, the laugh formed like a bubble in her stomach and burst out of her mouth. The old witch shouldn’t have pushed in.

She turned and faced a dozen tired, sullen faces glancing wearily at her. A couple of boys listened to mp3 players, workmen in their dusty shirts and ripped jeans sat on tool boxes, while suited men and women strained to read newspapers, or just stared blankly at the carriage’s grubby, wet floor, masterfully avoiding each other’s glances. Oh, this was joyous, she was wet, the people around her were wet, the person next to her had seriously bad breath, she was perilously close to running late and … actually, no, she wasn’t going to be late. She had in fact caught the train and she was in fact going to make it to her desk on time.

A faint aroma of fresh mint filled the carriage.

The train stopped.

“Sorry for the delay,” the driver said, “this is due to …”

The sound faded to silence. Her mind’s eye saw Nick marching toward her, a giant watch the size of a tractor wheel on his wrist, each tick of the second hand a hammer blow to the head. Her fingertips tingled.

It was eleven minutes past nine. She furiously shook her umbrella, yanked the door open and just as she was about to pelt it into the office, she saw Nick goose stepping in her direction. She jogged into the office, her head hung low, and ducked out of sight into a little, tucked away room. As her glasses steamed up, she prayed the weasel hadn’t seen her.

The door was wrenched opened. Nick pursed lips and exaggerated a stare at his bony wrist.

“I’ll talk to you later, Tia,” he said.

“Sure,” she whispered, her hands held in front of her, feet side by side.

The door slammed closed.

“That bloody man,” she spat, as she shook off her coat.

“I’ve often wondered what it would be like to just say a word or two and have the whole world understand you.”

“Michael, I’m sorry.” She turned to Michael, lovely Michael, hotter than hot Michael. “It’s Nick, he’s such a …” She took in a long, slow breath. “I don’t want to swear.”

Michael smiled at her; he was always warm and kind with her. Why wasn’t Craig like him? Actually, Craig could go to the deepest depths of blazing hell and so could Miranda for that matter. In fact, tonight, she was going to have a clear out. Her wardrobe had absolutely no need for size ten shoes, crisp white double cuff shirts or trousers that needed dry cleaning. Her building’s bins had just been emptied; she felt a delicious urge to fill them to the brim. Actually, no, come to think of it, that wouldn’t be at all fair on the other residents, her dear and charitable neighbours. Ah well, she’d just have to have a wild bonfire instead.

She grinned, broadly. The thought lit her chest with a glow that took her back to the deliciousness of morning coffee. Now there was a story she could not wait for Michael to hear. It was just as outrageous as the one that included graphic details of what she would do to him given half a chance and an empty bedroom room. She squeezed her eyes closed, as an image of Miranda climbing off Craig flashed across her mind. Her throat constricted as she slumped resentfully in her seat and turned to her computer.

“Yes, is that the I.T. helpdesk?” Tia asked, as she cradled the slim phone against her shoulder. “I can’t get into my email again … It won’t open … It just … erm … actually now it’s working.”

All the documents she needed printed out smoothly. Her in-tray was close to empty. She knocked a plastic cup of water over her keyboard. Her heart remained untroubled.

“I mean really,” Marie said, to Tia’s right. “What does George Christian see in the tramp? She’s only been in one film and that was some foreign, subtitled rubbish …”

“I know, I know,” Julie interrupted, stood next to Marie. “I even heard he’d been with that slag model, Lia Bright, the one in the shampoo ads. She’s only had half of Hollywood in her bed …”

“Yeah, but you know what,” Anna said, nudging Julie, “if I had her figure and looks and George Christian between my sheets, I tell you, I certainly wouldn’t kick him out bed if I’d heard he’d been with a few tarts …”

Tia sank in her chair and rubbed her temples. The grating noise was loud and unrelenting. How could they go on so without pause? A smile lazily curled upward as she imagined Marie, Julie and Anna talking domestic politics with as much zeal.

“Yes, but darling, if he did in fact divert the funding to health,” Marie said, “I feel sure the public would be deeply grateful. Our health system, that which belongs to you and I, is far more important to the nation than a new motorway.”

“Honey, I do genuinely see your point,” Julie interrupted, her hand held politely aloft. “But the Chancellor’s proposing to cut funding from not just one perhaps isolated project, but from three major expansions of the network. Surely, if one doesn’t recognise the need for greater road capacity now, this will impact on an already fragile economy in few short years.”

“You know, ladies, it may not be considered an election winner,” Anna said, “but I sense a shift in the public mood. I feel that higher fuel and health duties to pay for these and many more highly valued projects to come would win support. The state’s infrastructure at all levels needs to be maintained with the utmost care.”

She stared at her screen. She was not looking at the spreadsheet. Her phone rang.

“Tia Green.”

“Sweetie, it’s Miranda.”

She slammed the phone down and fled from her desk.

Black coffee dripped onto the white tiled floor as it spilled over her mug as Tia vigorously stirred it. She paused suddenly and laughed hesitantly, her eye twitching, as she then added another two spoons full of sugar, then another two, and another two. She sipped the coffee, rhythmically, over and over. It was so good. Sugar on the brain, what a wonderful way to erase the image of Craig climbing off …

“So -” She jolted, spilling coffee on her arm. “- why were you late?”

Pain sped through her, her breathing raced as she slammed the mug on the counter, and slowly, deliberately turned to face Nick. He stood in the tight doorway, his arms folded. She rubbed her sore arm as wrath torn her apart.

“Well?” he asked.

“My train was delayed. It was not my fault,” she said, in a low measured voice.

“They’re always conveniently delayed, Tia. It’s an old tale. With this much work to do you will make an effort to catch an earlier train.”

She ground her teeth.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been late this month, is it?”

Her face flushed.

“Your appraisal is due tomorrow, I’ll be the one writing it.”

She hated him.

Nick looked back into the corridor, and then stepped into the kitchen until they were toe to toe. His face softened.

“You know, it’s not me, it’s the pressure Rita puts on me.”

She nodded her head as she backed into the kitchen counter. He ran his hand over her arm, his fingers skirting the damp patch. It was as though every cell in her being had locked.

“I want to give you a great appraisal.”

An image of Nick running through the office naked popped into her head. He was slapping his buttocks, making train noises and lifting his knees up high as he ran. Nick stood back, slipped out off his crumpled jacket and dropped it on the floor. He pulled his red pencil thin tie loose and unbuckled his trousers.

Tia stared agape. “Nick, what are you doing?”

He quickly pulled off his white shirt, kicked off his shoes, comedy socks and trousers. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his faded shorts.

“Nick.”

She turned away as his shorts landed on the floor.

“Woo, woo, woooooo,” he hollered, turned, and ran through the office toward the main door. He slapped his buttocks and lifted his knees up high as he ran out into the street and disappeared out of sight.

Tia’s body was numb as she slid down the kitchen counter and sat on the floor, staring at the little pile of Nick’s clothes.

“It’ll be all right,” Rita said quietly, as she handed her a clear plastic cup filled with freezing cold water.

She gripped the cup with both hands and gulped at the water, spilling much of it down her chin.

“Would you like some more?”

She nodded sharply, her gaze low and fixed on her senior manager’s untidy desk.

“Maggie, would you?”

“I’ll bring two,” Rita’s secretary replied, as she left the small office.

Tia looked up into Rita’s warm hazel eyes. Her boss had a weather worn look about her, but instead of it giving her an air of the bitterly defeated, which she had always assumed was the case, it had in fact shaped her into a soft and beautiful woman. There was genuine compassion emanating from her. How had she not seen or felt this before?

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

She nodded again. “Have you … found him?”

Rita sighed. “No, we haven’t, but I just received a call from the police for they have.” Her brow furrowed. “He just took his clothes off in front of you?”

Tia looked down at the threadbare carpet, her cheeks burning. “Yes.”

“What would possess him to do that?” Rita leant back against her desk back, shaking her head. “In all my years I’ve never seen the like.”

Flashbacks. That was plausible, wasn’t it? Was she seriously going to suggest this? “Perhaps …” No, she couldn’t. Could she?

“Tia?”

Maggie quietly pushed the office door closed and handed her the cups of water.

“Thank you,” she said, and gulped one of the cups dry. No, her mind was made up, she simply could not. It wouldn’t be right. Things were bad enough without her heaping more manure onto it.

“Tia, what were you going to say?”

“I … well, I read somewhere that sometimes people who have taken … say drugs, can have sudden flashbacks and do strange things.” There, it was done.

“Yes, you know I’ve heard that too,” Maggie said, as she stroked her chin.

“I’ll have to mention it to the police when they get here,” Rita said.

“Maybe they would test him anyway,” Tia said. “I mean, if it’s obvious to us then it must be to them too.” That had to be true, didn’t it? That made what she had said okay, right?

“Still, it’s certainly worth a mention. Tia, the police may need to talk to you, but after that, would you like to go home?”

She shook her head sharply. Right about now Craig and Miranda would be mauling each other beneath her fresh white linen. Her brow creased, she put her head in her hands as emotion rose in her throat. Why had they betrayed her? She wanted to curl up in a ball and howl. No, no and absolutely no to public displays of pathetic weakness. She needed some air, a rest, a walk … actually, what she needed was a little therapy.

“Maybe I could just take an early lunch.”

Rita smiled warmly. There it was again, that wave of compassion.

She held out the short black skirt before her. It was perfect, divine. She had just the pair of delightful, strappy party heels to go with it. All eyes would be on trim Tia as she danced sensuously on Saturday night, her trusted … oh, come on, even if it was black she’d look fat in it. It would certainly show off something: stumpy tree trunk legs that stuck out from below a giggling mountain sized arse covered in black material stretched to near tearing. Not to mention the fact she couldn’t afford it. A tin of peas would be luxury.

God, if only she was a size eight. And while on the subject, if only she was a tall, curvy bombshell instead of a bumpy, little thing in desperate need of some serious exercise. If only she had light, bouncy blonde hair instead of the boring straight brown mess lumped indifferently on top her itching scalp. If only she had luscious full red lips and crystal green eyes instead of pale thin lips and sagging black bags under mud coloured eyes. A sprinkling of faint freckles over silken skin would be nice as well, instead of thick cheap make-up to hide the three huge spots that were on the verge of erupting across her face. A cute, little heart shaped bum to go with her full, well shaped …

Her clothes went baggy. She dropped the skirt on the floor. And then fainted.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Sweat poured from her temple. She clung to the edge of the sink, her knuckles white. A nail broke against the porcelain. Oh God, no, she loved her nails, at least, that was what she was supposed to think, if only … the nail repaired itself. Her mouth was open but sound did not form.

She raised her head with forceful effort to face her reflection in the streaked mirror. Her glasses lay discarded on the wet counter; her crystal green eyes had no need for them. Perfect visual acuity picked out detail like snapshots. She was a foot taller. Her figure was a trim and sensuous hourglass. Light blonde hair fell in bouncy waves. Lips were a luscious full red. An exquisite, unblemished face was blessed with a sprinkling of delightfully faint freckles.

As her breathing raced her mind sank into white hot fear. This had to stop. She had to calm down or there was going to be another collapse. Control had to be imposed, order needed to be restored. Her heart began to slow and her breathing began to ease. A flat untroubled surface gradually returned to her mind and her skin dried as if by the light of a summer sun. A restful sigh floated from her lungs. There, now that was much better.

She looked down at the coarse cotton of her short and baggy blouse. It was no longer possible to tuck it into her trousers, for the waistband was far too big. The trousers were also far too short; she could see her lower legs through laddered tights. Actually, that was all nonsense; her clothes gently hugged her figure as of course they would. Her blouse was a one-off designer number in cream. Her tailored trousers were an elegant cut that accentuated her flawless curves and showed just enough ankle to be playful. And her feet were magnificently displayed in low cut black heels with open toes. How about a cute little gold ankle chain? No, definitely not: too trashy.

She closed her eyes and took in a long, slow breath. A delightful aroma of freshly cut roses drifted over her. She was cleansed and fit, her toned muscles full of vitality. The pain of looking upon her dull, downtrodden reflection was a discarded shadow from another lifetime now thankfully quashed. She was perfection itself. Her heart broke with joy.

The bathroom door opened. Hell fire, her colleagues were going to go lose their sanity when they saw her. Come to think of it, would they even recognise her? Her lips curled into a faint smile. Of course they would recognise her, they wouldn’t know any different. But to complete the picture, she needed a tear, nothing overly dramatic, just a suggestion of ongoing distress.

“Are you all right, Tia?” Rita asked, as she placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

Did her weak nod indicate continued unrest?

“The gentleman who brought you back from the shop has just left. He was concerned for you, as we all are.”

“Thank you.” A burst of bright, intoxicating pleasure burst in her chest. “If it’s okay with you, I’d now like to go home.” But not on my own.

“By all means, but I insist, you’re not going on your own.”

“Oh?”

Did he make love slowly, tenderly?

“I’ll ask someone to take you home.”

Or would he be passionately rough with her?

“Uh-huh.”

Either would be fine.

“Shall I ask Michael for you?”

She smiled.

Tia kicked the door to her empty flat closed and pushed Michael toward the bedroom.

“Tia, no, please, this can’t possibly happen.” Michael shook his head and raised a defensive hand. “I can’t do this, I have a pregnant wife.”

“Hush.”

She slung her arms around his neck and kissed him. His lips were locked. Or were they? Her senses exploded as he kissed her like no other had. She couldn’t wait any longer. She pushed Michael on the bed and climbed on top of him. As he ripped her blouse open, scattering the buttons, she tugged at his belt buckle.

The next morning, she awoke to find him staring down at her with puppy eyes that overflowed with love.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered huskily.

She grinned stupidly as her heart danced. And just to be sure, she turned to her ornate full length mirror. Yep, she was still blonde, still had freckles and still had a radiant, flawless smile. She lifted the sheets. And boy did she have wonderful breasts.

Michael frowned. “Are you okay?”

She turned to him. “I’m fine.” And kissed him. “We’d better get up or we’ll be late for work.”

They held hands as they strolled to the train station, a teenage giddiness in her stride. The sun shone upon them from a pristine, cloudless sky, a faint breeze kept her skin just the right side of cool.

The woman pushed past her in the coffee shop queue.

“Sorry,” Tia said, quietly, flushing with rage. With her right hand, she softly brushed the still air. The gust of wind blew the woman to the right; she lost her balance and fell over with a scream.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she shouted, red in the face, as a man helped her back onto her feet.

“I was merely assisting in the movement of a filthy cheat from the position she had stolen.”

“What gives you the right?”

“Oh, there’s no particular right.” Tia giggled. “It’s just that I can.”

It was a pleasure to see the rude old bat miss the train by a whisker, while sipping a luscious morning brew, which was truly the finest blend she had ever been served. She laid back into the antique cushions and rested in Michael’s arms. The rest of the grubby train may well be full to bursting with passionless zombies, but she shared a marvellously spacious, exquisitely furnished, first class carriage with her man.

They stepped onto the terminus’ dusty train platform. As they left the aging station, she glanced at her gold, diamond encrusted watch. It was ten past nine. Ah well. Her pace slowed, as her fingers caressed the palm of Michael’s hand. She passed the dirty blue cabs lined up at taxi rank and stepped from the forecourt into a muggy, polluted morning. Suburbia surged from the over ground trains into the claustrophobic high-rise forest, chasing after overcrowded busses, squeezing into packed trams and pouring onto cramped underground trains.

This was ridiculous. It was nonsense. It was a pointless, unending, relentless march to the far reaches of nowhere. It was too much. She hated the stinking city. She loathed the rat race it created. And she quite simply could not face one more day in the office, her overflowing in-tray, the gossiping girls, the loathsome I.T. And then there was Nick.

She stood dead still as humanity surged around her.

“I dreamt of a free and better life,” she sang at the top of her voice. Blimey, what a wonderfully warm, soulful singing voice she had. “I saw sunshine on golden rays.”

“To ease her long born strife,” Michael sang, extending his hand to her in a stage pose, “to live joy for all her days.”

“I am your guiding light for I did fight.” She twirled with a man in a pinstriped suit who wore a bowler hat. “I held true so very long.”

“She yearned and then she prayed.” A hundred voices sang to her as he held her aloft. “Her heart and will were strong.”

“I screamed, I yelled, I prayed.” He gently lowered her onto the bonnet of a car, as soaring strings filled the crisp, clean air. “Freedom for all, freedom.”

He span gracefully away as bus conductors, traffic wardens, businessmen, policewomen, builders, doctors, nurses and nuns smiled and danced with Michael and the man in the pinstriped suit.

“She is our guiding light who wills us all to fight,” the cab drivers sang in perfect harmony, huddled together, holding flat caps to their chests. “She’s a leader to believe in.”

Tia leapt to the ground and fell to her knees, her eyes skyward. A single tear rolled down her cheek. “Freedom for all, freedom,” she whispered with her hands over her heart.

“Ladies and gentlemen, she is the brightest star in the galaxy today, and, as we are all aware, she rarely grants interviews. That is why, tonight, instead of my usual three guests, I am dedicating my entire show to only her.”

The audience frantically clapped and screamed.

“Yes, indeed, you know it to be true.” The chiselled presenter took in a breath. “My dear ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it gives me great pleasure to welcome the enigmatic, the vibrant, the dearly loved, Tia Green.”

She gracefully entered from stage left. The audience were on their feet rapt with delirious abandon. Tia wore a fitted, designer silk blouse; tight blue jeans and brown leather cowboy boots. As she approached the beaming host’s sofa, she tossed her hair, threw a smile and gave her audience a little wave. The cheering reached fever pitch.

Her heart glowed.

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green – Three

~

tia-green-03-lips2

Svelte

Tia awoke beneath pink silk sheets on a king size bed and contentedly groaned as she lazily stretched. Michael’s hand lightly brushed the fine hairs on her arm; goose bumps danced the length of her appreciative body.

“Morning,” she whispered sultrily.

“My sweet.” He kissed her forehead, a tiny, almost imperceptible connection. “Did you sleep well?”

“The best ever.”

He smiled. Michael was utterly gorgeous, how fabulous it was that he belonged to her. Actually, the truth of the matter was far more exciting, he was the fortunate one to be so gracefully blessed with her lithe presence by his side.

“Breakfast?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I’ll arrange it. What would you like?”

“You.”

As she strolled barefoot across her penthouse suite’s thick cream carpet, she caught sight of one of her security staff tipping the waiter. Her little smile could not adequately express the glow that exploded in her chest: the waiter was Nick.

She brushed crumbs of white toast from her full length red silk robe onto the carpet, and stepped out onto the long balcony. The city’s vast and blooming central park was laid out before her. The ring of towers around its lush borders lent the city a rather pleasant homely feel, as though the buildings were cuddling and nurturing the fragile and precious greenery. It was a far cosier impression than claustrophobic high-rise oppression.

She leaned against the rail and looked down to the ground. A rapturous cheer went up from the hundreds who had waited all night in the rain to catch a snatched glimpse of her awe. She waved and smiled, blew kisses and laughed. And laughed and laughed.

She swaggered back inside, humming quietly.

“Good morning, Miss Green,” her personal assistant said, as she entered the suite, a large leather bound organiser tucked under her arm.

“Hiya.” My, oh my, she had a gorgeous assistant. Her fitted black designer suit and swept back blonde hair skewered tightly with sticks gave her a sleek, authoritative flare. She was just the person she needed to manage a career that was roaring into orbit. What was her name? Ah yes, she’d call her: “Marissa, what’s lined up for today?”

“Ma’am, we have another hectic schedule ahead of us.” Marissa sat and opened the organiser. “The meet and greet followed by the autograph session for the album at Great Steel Records is at one o’clock. I’m told the queue in front of the store already stretches back to Thomas William Street.”

Oh, how nice. She sipped coffee with cream.

“Then, at two-thirty, the car will take you to Government House, and tea with the Prime Minister is at three. I’m told he cancelled a cabinet meeting for you and that he’s excited about sharing some time with you. I’ve also learnt that he sent one of his aides to pick up a copy of the album after it went on sale.”

“I thought Great Steel opened at midnight just to sell the album?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, yes, they did, and that was store the PM sent his aide to, at midnight.”

Lovely.

“Then, it’s out to the national stadium for the sound check. You need to be dressed, made and warmed up for show time by eight.”

“Very good.”

“Ma’am, will that be all?”

“I want a party tonight. A big one. With a lot of celebrities.”

Marissa nodded. “Of course, anything you’d like.”

And don’t ever forget it.

An expert calligrapher would have been inordinately proud of her first, elegantly constructed signature of the day. By the hundredth, even she was hard pressed to make out a single letter among the idle scrawl. The adoration, however, could keep on coming: ‘Oh my God, it’s really you, I love you, you’re beautiful, you’re my inspiration, your music changed my life.’ They’d scream, they’d cry, they’d stare at her, their mouths agape. It was all rather pleasant. And she simply loved having big burly men in sharp black suits and sunglasses looking after her petite form. Oh, they were so staying.

“But, Prime Minister, would you not agree that an ethical foreign policy toward all developing countries, without exception, is an essential component of an enlightened government of the twenty-first century?” she asked, as she picked up an elegant china cup of jasmine tea.

“I quite agree.” The Prime Minister nodded, as he sat on the edge of his red leather chair, his hands loosely clasped before him. “And I always instruct my cabinet and ministers to keep that in the forefront of their hearts and minds when dealing with industry. The exploitation of cheap labour markets and the ravaging of natural resources are not, and will never be, the policies of this government.” The Prime Minister beamed. “But, really, Miss Green …”

She raised a svelte hand in protest. “Please, Tia.”

“And, please, call me John.”

She smiled flirtatiously. “John, I’m sorry, what were going to say?”

“All I was going to ask was,” John leant forward, frowning seriously, “I was reading in your autobiography that the struggle to be understood and accepted is a theme of your life, a thread, if you will, that runs through it. I was wondering, when you wrote the classic ‘To Happiness,’ was that struggle in your heart at that time?”

She leant her head ever so slightly to one side. “How perceptive you are.”

The Prime Minister blushed.

That night, beneath stunningly complex lighting sequences and to a backdrop of spectacular pyrotechnics, not a note was dropped nor a dance step missed, as she performed a passionate and flawless set. One hundred thousand captive fans were drunk on delirium for two solid hours and many millions more danced in their living rooms as the show was broadcast live to thirty six countries.

For her party, she wore a strapless, flowing red dress with low cut heels. Her fine hair was light and loose, and cascaded in waves across her shoulders. An elegant and subtle make up design accentuated her exquisite features, and her image was completed with a glittering diamond necklace.

“You’re so beautiful,” Michael said, holding her close.

She grinned. “Come on, let’s meet celebs.”

Her two hundred guests turned to the door in unison, and clapped politely as she gracefully entered the penthouse suite. Michael followed in time with her pace a few steps behind.

Marissa had arranged a dizzying gathering of the most celebrated and dazzling stars from the stage and silver screen, the most wonderful singers and musicians, stunning models from the catwalk, and magnificently talented artists and writers. And they had all been patiently waiting for her to make her entrance.

“Let’s party,” she said to Michael.

Her being was lit from the inside, a glow she felt sure was visible, for she had just met George Christian, the rugged and handsome star of two of the year’s most successful romantic comedies. He was ever better looking in person than on screen. And if silk could speak, it would be with his warm, gravelly tones. But as for the bottle blonde bursting out of her excuse of a dress and hanging off his arm like she was stapled to it, well, really, surely someone of his stature could do considerably better.

She forced her mind away from the cheap tramp, gulped her sixth glass of Champagne and fanned herself with a glossy programme from her show. Her head began to spin as her face flushed and burned.

“Ma’am, are you all right?”

It was Marissa. Dear Marissa.

“I’m just a little drunk.”

“Please, let me take you to a bathroom.” Marissa took her gently by the arm. “A little sit down and a splash of cold water will help.”

She turned her head as her assistant led her from the room, straining to catch Michael’s eye among the animated crowd. He was laughing with a young, fit thing.

Tia sat on the edge of a cream lavatory seat, her head lightly rested in her perfumed hands. Marissa crouched awkwardly behind her, and rubbed her back in soft circles. Why couldn’t she will the alcohol away? All she needed was a little sobriety, a clear enough head so she could get back to her party and mingle with the beautiful people, to outshine them all and receive their homage. Instead she was sat on a loo in a deathly quiet bathroom. Admittedly, it was a rather plush bathroom with fine art on the walls, a tinkling chandelier, marble counters and gold taps, but still.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Michael?

Marissa opened the door, and then looked back at her, grining. “Hi, George, come in.”

George Christian stepped into the bathroom. If she didn’t feel so wretchedly queasy, her heart would have leapt through hoops.

“How’s our patient?” George asked, his brow furrowed.

“In need of a pick me up,” Marissa replied.

He grinned broadly. “Then, I am happy to have stopped by and delighted to be of service.” He pulled a clear plastic bag of white powder from his inside pocket.

Oh no, so very no, no. She had never done anything of the sort in her entire life; there was no way on this or any other earth she was about to start now.

Tia vacuumed the line with a rolled bank note. Her head exploded into three-dimensional pyrotechnics, her senses transformed all input into multicoloured light, and it was as though her being was formless as waves of groundless exhilaration flooded through her, lifting her, soothing and comforting her. She needed another one of those bad boys and quickly. She leant over the mirror and assaulted the next line. This was the door to heaven, she was sure of it.

George swiftly inhaled two thick lines, and as Marissa ploughed through hers, he leant in slowly, lightly lifted her chin and gently brushed her lips. Oh, she was so wrong; the kiss was the door to bliss. Her form relaxed and opened, her chest rapidly rose and fell, as craving for ecstasy pulsated through her. He kissed her again, slowly, forcefully. She couldn’t … she shouldn’t. His hands were on her knees, her legs parted without resistance.

As she gave in to him, fingers playfully danced on her neck, her shoulders, her back, teasing her skin, sending ripples of joy through her tingling body. Marissa slipped the dress from Tia’s shoulders. Tia couldn’t help it, she moaned.

It was as though she were adrift on a cotton wool cloud, cushioned by cool air. Her heart glowed and her body contentedly ached. Marissa slept to her left, a hand on her shoulder. George slept to her right, his fingers interlaced with hers. She giggled. It was so much fun to be the object of their pursuit, to be seduced by them, to have them chase the enigmatic, the vibrant and the dearly loved.

Her smile dissolved.

She could dress in the finest clothes and wear the most exquisite jewellery, live in the grandest houses and bathe in the purest seas, lie beneath the warmest suns and ski the softest slopes. She could have anyone and anything at anytime. Well, that was nice.

She sat up sharply. A clear translucent vision of a data processor in a cheap trouser suit from a tiny flat in the northern suburbs stood before her; a dumpy, spotty nobody without talent, wealth, grace or status. It simply wasn’t right that a thorn in her mind should remain. She … she …

She wore a diamond tiara and was encased in a long, fitted handmade white silk sheath. Over it, she wore a handmade white lace gown with a twelve foot train. Her makeup was simple; it contained only soft tones matched to her skin colour. Her toe and finger nails were unpainted. Her earth brown hair was long and flowing down to her waist. She stood alone at the front of an open golden carriage pulled by six brilliant white horses. Her gaze was absently ahead.

The sun shone in a quiet, clear blue sky, a faint breeze softly played on her skin. It was serene Tia Weather. Towering, age old trees that had stood fast as empires rose and fell lined her path, sunlight frolicked through their canopy of luscious leaves, and golden lanterns hung from their majestic branches as colourful birds sat upon them and exuberantly sang for her. Her subjects lined the enchanting forest path; reverently silent as they threw bunches of wild flowers ahead of her horses. It was too quiet. Musicians gaily played instruments, bells pealed in the distance, and her people danced and cheered their perfect princess.

Ahead was the coliseum, it was centuries old and had been restored at great expense for her arrival. The great iron gates swung open, like a parting sea. The coliseum was ringed by giant fluttering golden banners, and as her carriage entered the colossal structure, the three hundred thousand who had waited patiently for hours cheered fervently. The divine had entered their presence. Her horses slowed to a trot as her carriage approached a circular golden dais in the centre of the arena. A sombre white gloved guard in a dress uniform that made him look like a peacock assisted her from the still carriage onto the dais.

Tia stood, her hands clasped before her, and surveyed her euphoric workers, her ranked armed forces, her suited government and her royal attendants. It was indeed a tender blessing to reign over a peaceful, blissful kingdom. She called it Tialand, and the people of Tialand were joyful, secure and absolutely devoted to their princess. And why not. And now she would speak to them, and they, with love bursting from their hearts, would listen intently to … oh the hell with it, she couldn’t be bothered.

Michael massaged her slim feet with sensuous, fragrant oils, as she lay back on a bed of plump, silk cushions. Marissa fed her juicy, seedless grapes, as George massaged her delicate hands and fingers. Dirtbag Nick and stinking cheat Craig, blindfolded and with heavy, clanking chains locked to their ankles, fanned her softly with giant leaves from one of her rainforests. The gossiping girls stood silently side by side in a row by the wall. Their gazes were fixed ahead; they wore long cream robes and held trays of luxurious oils, delectable chocolates, fresh strawberries and individual glasses of the finest Champagnes. The wanton harlot Miranda was at their feet in a torn and dirty chemise, she was chained to the floor by the neck.

Tia stared blankly at nothing in particular; her body was bathed in warm, clear light, her mind empty of thought, of feeling. She never became ill. She never aged. A million people, no, sixty million, no, the entire population of her planet worshiped her. The sacred had manifested for the good of her world. Sure, whatever.

It was morning. Before her was a sumptuous selection of cereals, toast, pastries, fresh fruit, tangy juices and steaming coffee. She sat with Michael beneath a wide umbrella on a spacious terrace that overlooked a soaring snow capped mountain range. The sun broke cover from behind a peak and began to rise sedately into the crystal clear sky. It was going to be another glorious day in the celestial Tialand. Yet, she was twitchy, for the air had altered. The how and the why were a puzzle, but the quality of the energy projected toward her had subtly shifted. It was coppery, rancid. It was fear.

Michael’s face appeared to betray enforced calm.

“What is it?” she asked, calmly.

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re worried.”

“No, I’m not.”

As she settled in her deep, cushioned wicker chair, and savoured a slice of dreamy fruit, she projected her mind forward. A tendril of dynamic, fiery energy, a coil of cognisance, probed Michael’s temple. She yawned, casually, and listened intently. ‘Oh hell, she knows.’ What was that? She reached for her cup of coffee. ‘Don’t ask me again, I don’t think I could take it.’

“Take what?” she asked, acidly.

Michael’s face drained of colour. ‘Oh my God, oh my God.’

“Say, ‘Oh my God’ all you like.” She sat forward, her elbows on her knees. “What are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing, I swear.”

She probed his mind deeper. What was the nature of his fear? Who did it have to do with? She saw a young, fit thing, her head thrown back in laugher. The beaming face was that of a dirty slut.

“Did you sleep with that little girl from my party?”

He chocked. “I … I …”

“A simple yes or no will suffice.”

He looked down at the table, his eyes wide, his face set. She knew the answer, it was clear and obvious, she simply had to have confirmation from his womanising mouth.

“I … yes, I did, but only once.”

She leapt to her feet, her head pounding. “How dare you sleep with a cheap tart?” she screamed and shook her clenched fist. “Does once make it right? Are you not getting the best you’ve ever had from me? Do I not put out often enough? Do you know who I am? Look at me, you rancid piece of filth.”

There was absolute silence, absolute stillness.

“Are you deaf as well as stupid?”

Michael was frozen. She turned sharply to her maids who stood to attention at a discreet distance. They were still. She turned to a bird with a red chest that had been sat quietly on the terrace’s stone wall; it had launched into the air and was suspended midflight. Her knees buckled and she collapsed into her seat, drained, shaking uncontrollably. No, no, this was too much; it had all gone too far. She curled up foetal tight and scrambled for a handhold. Stillness was a necessity. She clamped her mind down and the near overwhelming need to sob receded as her body stilled.

She sat up, slowly, carefully, and leaned forward. Michael’s eyes were glassy, not even the faintest of fluids glided across their curved surfaces. She waved her hand in front of his face. Not even an eyelash twitched. She stood and circled him. He wasn’t breathing. She prodded him; her finger sank into his skin. She tugged his shirt; it was pliable and not stiff.

Turning to the breakfast table, she pushed over the sugar bowl; white sugar spread across the table. She knocked over a china cup; black coffee mixed with the sugar and soaked into the cream doilies. She leant in close to the table and sniffed; there was no smell. She turned to the mountain range. The cotton wool clouds that hung over the grand range were still. There wasn’t a breath of wind or a whisper of sound. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. The rapid thump, thump, thump of her banging heart was clearly audible.

Her mouth was agape as she cautiously walked though her vast apartments. An unmoving maid had been clearing a table; she held two forks and a clean yellow duster. A suited minister had been marching purposefully toward the terrace, a leather portfolio tucked under his arm. A workman had been hanging a bright watercolour on a wall, his face set in concentrated effort. A janitor in a grey overall had been mopping a floor; droplets of dirty water were suspended in the air between his mop and bucket. George had been sat on a red leather sofa reading a newspaper, smoking a cigarette. She passed her hand through the thin column of still white smoke.

In the pretty village at the base of the mountain, the waxworks had come to market day. Tia stood in the middle of the motionless crowd who had been shopping for exotic foods and handmade crafts. She turned through a slow three hundred and sixty degrees, her eye darting from one still face to the next. A contorted smile crept upward as her heart began to beat in double time. The fear had dissolved into nothingness, unbridled excitement now pulsed her veins. This was going to be fun.

She promptly turned to the nearest person, a tall, slender woman in a long uninspired summer dress who carried a black canvas handbag. As she prised the bag from her fingers, she projected her mind forward until she was inside her head. So, she was an unmarried accountant on a modest salary. She dipped into the handbag and rummaged. The boring one keeps a spotlessly clean house and dutifully lunches with mummy and daddy every Sunday. The bag carried only keys, fresh tissues, a purse with a rustic patchwork design with a tiny clasp, an old fashioned silver makeup mirror and some seriously questionable eyeliner and lipstick. You’ll die an old bat and a spinster.

She dropped the bag in the dirt, reached into a large man’s suit jacket and pulled out his battered leather wallet. He carried a significant wad of Tia dollars, along with a couple of respectable credit cards, and, oh look, there’s the standard awkwardly posed photograph of your old dragon with her frightening smile, her arms draped protectively over the shoulders her obnoxious, ungrateful spawn. How quaint. She threw the wallet over her shoulder. Oh, but now wait, what’s this? So, you’re having an affair with your young, timid little secretary are you? Tia leant forward, licked his sagging, unshaven cheek and then slapped him playfully across the face. You dirty old man. Be a love and knock her up.

Oh, hello there sailor. The young man was tall and fit, chiselled and elegantly dressed. She pressed her hand to his solid chest. Oh my. Perhaps she should have him right there in the market square’s dirt. She reached into his mind, was he up for playing? Her senses were flooded with giddy, summer warmth. The young one was high of newfound, spring love. Well, now that just wasn’t fair. Remember this as fact my deluded sweetness: your pure and innocent virgin has had the football team … twice.

Tia stood before the woman in the uninspired summer dress. The look on her stupid, hippy face was an irritant that scratched the back of her mind. She gripped the neck of her flimsy flowery dress and ripped it all the way down to her knickers. She screamed with laughter and turned to the man in the suit, kicked his old wallet aside, and tore his trousers and shorts to the ground. What does the timid thing see in you? She ripped open a man’s shirt; he had a tattoo of a setting sun on his chest. A woman had a large birth mark on her flabby bottom. A carpenter pleasantly surprised her.

She stopped, dead still. Oh, now how funny would that be?

Time began again; sound overwhelmed the silence and the wind overran the stillness. The woman in the remains of the summer dress screamed and pulled at her hair. The suited man howled and cupped his modesty. Sailor boy cried and cried as the carpenter stood silent and dead still. Gasping, crying and screaming from the hundreds of punters and stallholders filled the morning air. Tia twirled, her arms aloft, and directed the distress until it formed a rhythmic symphony, rising and falling to the whim of her conductor’s baton.

Snow fell on the clear summer’s day. There were no clouds. Wind gusted through the market, tipping stalls. The temperature soared to fifty degrees Celsius. The ground froze. The wind stopped. The moon eclipsed the sun. Frogs fell with torrential rain. Tia was dry. Warm light bathed her. Her people fled. She closed her eyes and saw Craig climb off Miranda.

“You know what, my love,” she said to Michael, over the breakfast table, as she tore an orange to pieces, “I am so mad at you.”

Then why are you so calm?

“Because I know what’s going to happen next.”

And what’s that?

“Speak to me, little man, don’t think.”

Michael looked at the table and swallowed.

“You think it’s possible to cheat on me without my finding out?” She felt her cheeks burning, as she threw the mangled fruit on the table. “You do realise I gave you everything, my precious life, my kind soul.” She clenched her fists, her knuckles were white. “I hope the scanky little scrubber was worth it.” Her nostrils flared as she ground her teeth. “With me, you could have lived a magnificent life, free of want, worshiped by all, and now all that will remain of your pathetic existence is … is …”

Oh, the hell with it.

She pointed a handgun at his temple and pulled the trigger.

Blam.

Now that felt nice.

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green – Four

~

Tia Green - 04 - Gun

Tedium

Tia stepped away from the table, her eyes softly closed, head lightly cocked to one side, her lips curled in a relaxed smile. She stretched out her arms, holding the gun in her right hand by the tip of the cooling barrel, between her thumb and forefinger. She raised her head to the delightful sky; the sun bathed her in a kindly glow and the light breeze tickled her gently. She twirled, a soft waltz playing in her mind.

Such blessed relief to have a great and unnecessary weight lifted from her slight shoulders. Michael had become such a bore. If only she’d known how simple it could be. A quick insignificant little pop, a tiny puff of mildly acrid smoke and it was all over and done with.

A woman pushed past her.

She opened her eyes and stared into the vast, crisp clear blue canvas, and giggled. Should she extend her right arm ahead of her or leave them both tucked neatly by her sides? It would have to be ‘neatly by her sides’, it would be a trimmer, sleeker image. And of course she would have to wear black, nothing else would do. She took in a long, deep breath, and bolted into the sky.

As she cleared the atmosphere and shot into space, she turned and looked back on herself, down upon the bright planet beneath her. Tialand was a giant and rather pretty glowing marble. And my, oh my, space was dark, a blackness she had never imagined possible. What was needed to complement her backdrop was a long, elegant silk evening gown with a billowing train to show off her dazzling new collection of twinkling jewellery made of starlight.

She stared at a tall man’s greying nasal hair

She grunted and raced toward the moon. As she glided to the surface, and just a moment before she touched down, she kicked off her heels and watched them as they tumbled away. The dry grey dust tickled the souls of her dainty feet and toes. It felt like a fine powder, and yuck, it was dirty. Unnatural shapes caught her eye. Was that a golden Tialand flag, just ahead of her, suspended above the windless surface? She danced over to the base of an aged, squat lunar module. There was a huge boot print set in the surface. She placed a slim foot into the print. It was massively bigger than her foot. She smiled, shaking her head; did she really expect anything else?

“I know I said to her she said that you said that he said about her …”

She shook her head and darted toward the sun. A gleaming comet idled its way through the back streets of the solar system. It looked like a giant shuttlecock. Well, okay, perhaps it didn’t. She glided by the tail and ran her hand through the tinkling cone of shattered crystals. Man, it was cold.

Nick’s hand lightly brushed her.

She rocketed out of the solar system and slowed to a leisurely float only when she came by a glorious, lazily undulating nebula. Pure and brilliant starlight shone through the giant clouds of intermingling red, green and blue gasses. So, this is what a galactic nursery looked like, stars gently rocking in their rainbow cradles.

Miranda climbed off Craig.

God damn it. She bolted back to the veranda by the mountain range and slammed into the ground, shattering the concrete. She stood over Michael’s dead body, her hands on her hips. There was a generous pool of sticky blood by the head. She straddled the chest and grabbed the ears.

“You couldn’t stop it,” she shouted. “She had no right and you damn well know it, they just gaggle on for years about nothing while that lecherous bastard takes what he wants when he wants and you couldn’t stop it.” The sky darkened, her courtiers fled. “You weren’t there when he climbed off that stinking whore, she might as well have stabbed me in the heart with lightening. You were meant to put an end to it.” Thunder echoed through the mountains, as she banged the head on the concrete, over and over and over. “They all use me, every single one of them. I’m a plain and useless non-entity for their sport. Who cares about little, uneducated Tia? She’s fat, spotty and short sighted.” It was pitch-black as the rain hammered down. “You’re just like them. You used me. I’d made it. On my own. I gave you everything. My thanks were pure. You owe me. You are mine. You hear me. Mine.”

She fell back on her heels, soaked to the skin, and wailed, her head to the sky, eyes tightly shut, arms flailing.

“No,” she screamed. “No.”

Lightning blazed across the rolling, blanket of thick, black cloud. Roaring thunder pounded the air as rain sheeted to the ground. She swallowed, her throat was dry. She forced herself onto her aching feet and looked down upon the dead body, into the lifeless eyes. The rain had turned the blood into what looked like a spilled blackcurrant drink. She snarled, he’d surely be happy she’d done him the favour.

Tia stepped away and shuffled to the edge of the veranda. Her wet and dirty evening dress caught and tore on the broken concrete. Tiny, jagged stones that were once the finest sparkling jewels fell to the floor. She gripped the neck and ripped the dress from her body. She stepped out of the ruins and stood naked before the storm.

The rain lashed the mountains as thunder beat and lightening lit the battered landscape. It wasn’t enough. Gale force winds pulled trees from the ground and sent them tumbling through house roofs. Slim spires crumbled into streets as hail the size of fists plunged from the sky. The squall of the terrified swirled with the grit as the ground trembled. It wasn’t enough. A tidal wave ploughed through Tialand, tearing and engulfing … stop.

Tia’s hair was jet black and cropped into a short bob. She wore a fitted black jacket with red epaulettes, black leather gloves, black jodhpurs and tightly laced, black leather combat boots. Sparkling gold and silver medals adorned her chest. ‘Tialand’ was emblazoned in gold on her left shoulder, a swooping eagle on her right.

The great iron gates to her coliseum swung imperiously open. As the storm raged on, she rode into the arena on her carriage drawn by six sleek and powerful black horses. The great stone edifice was bathed in golden light and ringed with red and black Tialand flags. Brilliant fireworks exploded in a continuous and booming barrage above the coliseum. The three hundred thousand present chanted for all they were worth, ‘Hail, hail, hail.’ Her people were in uniform, saluting her as one.

Her horses slowed to a stop by the dais. As she stepped from the carriage, her courtiers quickly and efficiently fussed over her. She stepped forward and looked over her massed, tiered ranks of neat, worshiping troops; her gaze was solemn and measured, as though she in fact cared for each of them to know, individually, of her warm gratitude and deep admiration of their sacrifice to her just cause. Actually, it was their love and devotion that she liked best. But then, what else were they going to do?

Silver spotlights picked out her slight and solitary form.

“Tialand,” she said, quietly, in almost a whisper, “I have this tiny little itch I need you all to help me scratch.” Her troops cheered with gusto. “I have tried as hard as I might to tear this wretched and foul stink from within the fabric of my over burdened heart.” Her voice quickly rose to a shout as her pulse raced.

“I was not cause of this aching pain. I did not invite it into my being. In fact, I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.” She shook her clenched fist as Tialand roared its indignation right back at her. “Who is to blame for this tortured pain? What dark and seedy corner of my glorious kingdom blackened our soul? It was the stinking city. I hate it,” she yelled, stamping her foot. “I cannot stand it. So damned ignorant and so damned arrogant, so utterly sure they are justified to do whatever the hell they please to whomever they please whenever they please as they please. It makes me sick.”

She stood back, her chest heaving, and took a breath.

“The city -” She pointed outside the coliseum. “- is going to pay.”

Tialand surged to its feet, roaring, ‘Hail, hail, hail’. As the faithful shouted themselves hoarse and saluted her over and over, flights of nimble escort fighters and heavy bombers overflew the coliseum in tight, arrow shaped formations. On the ground, columns of rumbling tanks and armoured vehicles, with Tialand battle flags flying from their turrets, swept into the arena and paraded before her. The growling of airplane engines and heavy ground vehicles combined with the ecstatic delirium of her subjects formed into a grand cacophony, a terrific din that blasted through a thickening haze of acrid exhaust fumes that left a taste of engine oil on the back of the throat. Delicious.

She smiled. This was going to be good.

The sky boiled red. Near constant bursts of lightening blazed from the blanket of rolling cloud and forked to the surface. Tia approached the city from the north, on foot, alone, quietly humming a restful, playful lullaby. With each step she took, the grass about her feet promptly withered and died. As she past trees and hedges, leaves caught fire and bark was soon black. Just behind her, and keeping pace with her, was a wall of torrential hot rain beating the ground.

She sensed her swollen army groups closing in on the city from the east, the south and the west. Any minute now, a ferocious assault would begin. She had just a little job to take care of before allowing her troops to have their fun. As she strolled into the bustling train station near her flat, her hands thrust deep into her pockets as she wistfully hummed, her skin tingled with the exhilaration of anticipation.

A woman pushed past her. She should say something, stand up for herself. What would be the point in making a scene? Her lips curled in a pursed smile.

“Erm, now, let me see, what do I want? Hmm, yes, I’ll have a skinny cappu … mmm.”

The woman span on her heels and dropped her handbag, her face bright purple, her mouth tightly gagged with a stinking, oily rag. Tia stood before her and gently brushed a loose strand of greying hair from her wrinkled forehead. The gag was rather fetching, but she could do much better than that. The woman fell to her knees as a metal clamp riveted to her face.

Tia opened up her form, she needed a good stretch; her muscles had tensed up a little. Screaming played on the air, a daft old bat clutched her clamp, and a slick, black machine gun appeared in her hand. Ooh, it was nice and shiny. Best of all, she knew it would be loud.

Pulling the tiny, little trigger was such a simple act. As the woman’s chest exploded, Tia’s heaved with delight.

She stood on the station roof, feet apart, hands on her hips, and took in the magnificent view. Under blackened, raging skies, wave upon wave of her sleek bombers pounded the city. The eastern, southern and western suburbs were ablaze, an unbroken wall of furious flame. Against the brilliant backdrop of dancing wrath, the jagged skyline of gleaming, phallic skyscrapers remained unmolested. Goody, goody.

There was no particular hurry to get to the centre of the city, no need to be in any kind of rush. There was time enough to take to the air to giggle at the flight of panicked civilians from above, to force them this way and that with the odd barrage of cluster bombs, to strafe them here and there with her screaming fighters, to send buses and lorries careening onto their sides by blowing little kisses at them on the air, to throw dazzling bolts of lightning at the surface from the palms of her hands, and to delight in the glorious, raging fireballs that engulfed the little orderly rows of bricks and mortar.

She glided to the ground and stood in the middle of a road before onrushing traffic. Two long, thin busses bore down on her, their horns screaming. Acrid smoke billowed from the locked wheels as brakes screeched. They came to a stop a good distance ahead of her, the passengers had a chance to flee. She appeared in middle of the shrieking little people as they spewed out into the tarmac. She gave her machine gun a loving stroke and then emptied the magazine into the crowd, shuddering with pleasure as each bullet left the barrel. If there were screams and yelps of animal pain, they were drowned out by her roaring, rattling storm. She grunted and grinned, her teeth grinding. More, she needed more. Her guns became larger and louder.

Silence and stillness appeared to allow a soft moan of ecstasy to slip by her lips. The din returned as she opened up on the remains of the passengers.

She dropped the empty, smoking guns and walked in amongst the dead, kicking arms, legs and heads, and jumping in the pools of sticky blood, like a child would puddles of water.

“Next.”

She bolted toward the skyscrapers and landed in the middle of the Eighth Bridge, which connected the artsy, farty north quarter with the claustrophobia of the high rise business district. From the air, hundreds of men and women were running from the south bank over the bridge. Yet, as she touched down, they all apparently changed their minds and began running back from where they came. Was it something she’d said?

Despite the sudden change in the current, there were still far too many people in her way. The risk was one she could not ignore: what if someone bumped into her and perhaps crumpled her jacket? That would not be at all pleasant or polite.

She glanced at a man in blue overalls. He dropped dead. She turned to a woman who wore her hair in pigtails. She dropped dead. Two nurses and seven men in business suits dropped dead.

Her remaining toys fell at her feet, kissing her boots, begging for pity, crying for mercy, offering money, jewellery. She yawned, then smiled cutely and blew them all a tiny kiss. The gale force wind picked the hysterical crowd up from the concrete and blew them over the bridge. The way was finally clear for her to continue her stroll into the forest of slim glass towers.

It was an annoyance that civvies were still ahead of her, in her way. Dozens of giant snarling, scaly monsters with acidic drool dripping from their six-inch fangs leapt out of her body and raced after the screamers, roaring as they pounced on their free two-legged meals.

In amongst the feast, which was mercifully quietening down, she caught sight of a little thing, crouched, whimpering, in the corner of a green phone box, knees clutched to her chest. How dare a subject of hers cower? It was unbecoming, feeble. She tore the door off the phone box. The dumpy thing badly needed some exercise, and those pale lips and black bags under mud brown eyes could do with some kind summer rays. And could she trowel on anymore make-up? The make-up dissolved, revealing three huge spots on the verge of erupting across her face.

“Name?” she barked.

The girl panted as she stared back at Tia.

“You have one more chance to answer me, little girl.”

“I … I’m … Tia Green.”

She took an involuntary step back, fell off the curb and onto her rear. This was not possible; she was no longer an insignificant, waste of space. ‘Weakness’ had been removed from her vocabulary, only ‘triumph’ remained. She pushed herself onto unsteady feet and stepped out into the middle of the tree-lined street, as sparks of light spat and crackled from her fingers. Hurricane winds began to whip and scream between the towers, quickly stripping swaying trees bare of their leaves and tipping abandoned busses and trams onto their sides.

“I have triumphed,” she screamed.

Every window in every vehicle and building shattered in a lightening wave that pulsed from her heart. As the glass fell with the pouring rain and tinkled on the concrete, she stretched out her arms, raised her face to the black sky, and howled. That Tia Green was dead. She stamped the ground; the earthquake rippled outward, the towers rumbled and shook, their colossal structures soon buckled, and then began to fall, collapsing toward her from all around her, crashing to earth with a thunderous roar. Giant, surging waves of thick, dust, dirt and debris billowed over her, coating her in filth.

As the dust settled, she stood slouched, her arms loose by her sides, her gaze to the ground. A tiny cough escaped her as she raised her head. What was left of the city was becoming visible again. In front of her, to her left, right and behind her, six blocks had been levelled. Despite the deflation following the release, anger and grit still stubbornly clung to her throat. Perhaps there were a couple of last acts to perform. Perhaps then she would be blessed with peace.

Her tanks’ smoking turrets and machine guns were all trained on the office building; her battle hardened troops were poised behind their tracks, their weapons raised, their eyes at their sights. Tia stepped forward into the clear space between the line of uniformed men and the four storey building. With a quick flick of the wrist, the glass façade was ripped cleanly away and tossed aside.

She floated into the reverently silent office and settled before a trembling slug. Sweat ran from Nick’s ridiculously furrowed brow as his jaw quivered. She looked down from his wide, frightened weasel eyes to the wet patch growing generously at his crotch. He was a doleful child that had just been spanked. It was beyond her why she had ever allowed herself to be intimidated by the pathetic, slimy bastard? There was no way she was going to waste even a single one of her precious bullets on him.

Nick’s breathing ceased and he collapsed to the floor.

She sauntered out of the office, whistling gaily.

Tia stood before the yellow metal door to her red bricked residential building. The building itself was bathed in clear light and sat in the middle of her coliseum. Three hundred thousand Tialanders chanted, ‘Off! Off! Off!’ She took a calming breath, then ripped the building from its foundations and tossed it over the coliseum’s walls. All that remained in the centre of the darkened arena beneath the banks of bright stage lights was her bed, and a rather shocked Craig and Miranda beneath some seriously crumpled sheets.

“Well, hello my glowing little pretties,” Tia said demurely, her hands clasped behind her. “How nice it is to see you.” Her people belly laughed as one, as the odd one or two here and there stepped onto the arena floor.

Craig and Miranda rose to their knees, clenching the bed sheets protectively close to their sweaty nakedness, as their heads jerked about them, their faces registering the scope of the ever so slight pickle they were in.

Tia smiled as she strolled toward the bed. “I appear to have interrupted an indiscretion.”

A hundred Tialanders approached the bed from all angles.

“My lovelies please tell me, what am I to do about the principal cause of my aching distress?” She dabbed a single tear with a white silk handkerchief. “Should I forgive and perhaps, with the length and breadth of time, forget?” The handkerchief floated to the dusty floor. “Now, that just wouldn’t be sporting of me, would it?”

Two hundred Tialanders approached the bed.

“Honey, please, I beg you,” Craig said, his hands held in prayer. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.”

“But of course you are.” She smiled. “And the slut?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Sweetie,” Miranda cried. “I swear I never meant to hurt you, I love you.”

“George, would you put up with any of this from your ‘Sweetie’?”

The yummy actor materialised by her side. “Are you kidding me?” He signed a giggling, star-struck Tialander’s breast. “Not in a million years.”

“Marissa?”

“Throw them to the wolves,” her beautiful assistant spat.

It seemed that tears and baying were all the quivering adulterers had left to offer her, and their remorse was quickly growing wearisome. “My darlings, it really is time for me to say adieu, au revoir and goodbye. My devoted subjects know what I need from them to satisfy my final desire.” She turned, and walked toward the exit, as a thousand Tialanders crowded around the bed.

All too soon the screams were silenced. Pity.

Tia wore a tiny red bikini and a pair of slim black sunglasses. She lazed on a soft lounger beneath a glorious sun by a crystal clear blue sea, sipping an ice-cold Champagne cocktail, as tropical birds sang for her in lush palm trees. She stretched and yawned, and placed the cocktail back on the frosted glass table high up in the snowy mountains, a faint icy wind drifted over her silken skin, as she idly watched skiers rocket down the mountain side. Perhaps she should have a waiter hold her glass, as the ocean’s gentle undulations might cause it to spill. She inhaled the crisp, salty sea air and wondered if the moon’s unfiltered sunlight might make her cocktail glass glitter. But then, the moon was dusty and dirty and a little too quiet for her taste, and besides the service from the help was horrendous. Ah well, it was back to tropical birds, sun, sand and clear blue seas then. No, actually, what she needed was a sports pool.

It was a long, tiled pool with a single lane. The water was clear and dead still. A flat, circular stone appeared between her fingers. It seemed appropriate. She drew her arm back and threw the stone without any particular force or intent. It skimmed across the surface just twice and then sank. Ripples emanated out from each impact to the side of the pool.

Her heart began to beat a little faster as she stood and threw another stone, a little more forcefully. This time, the stone skimmed four times before sinking. The larger ripples hit the side of the pool, and then, headed back in toward the spots the stone had hit.

She threw another ever harder. It skimmed six times before sinking, but she was not interested in the numbers she could create. Her mind followed the ripples as they struck the side of the pool and surged back toward the points of impact. Cold sweat dripped down her back.

She threw a rock into the pool. The wave burst outward, pounded the side of the pool, then headed back toward the centre and engulfed the point of impact.

Pristine peace transformed her for just a moment.

It was bliss.

Then, panic stricken, she fell through the earth.

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green – Five

~

tia-green-05-hell2

Consequence

Tia gripped her face with shaking, sweaty hands. She dared to peak through her fingers to find nothing to see. Then, snapped her head left, right, up and down: pitch blackness enveloped her. Beneath her? There was nothing. She was neither gliding, falling nor soaring. There was no smell, and other than her frantic rasping, no sound. She willed Tialand into being. It did not appear. The city. It did not appear. Her flat. Anything. Anywhere.

The temperature soared. The ground that appeared beneath her naked feet was molten metal. An incalculable number of shrieking people surrounded her, flaming arms outstretched; crisping fingers reached up to her as the bodies they were attached to sank beneath the white hot surface. Screaming, she jumped to fly, and couldn’t, then scrambled for a hand hold above her, there was nothing. As she landed back on the liquefied floor, she caught fire. A man yelled as flames burst from blackened eye sockets, he grabbed her shoulders with burning hands and pushed her downward. Powerless, she sank, as his blazing stumps pressed down on her head and knees pushed on her shoulders. She snatched at the air and convulsed as blood haemorrhaged through her mouth. Silence fell as she slipped below the surface.

She awoke, whole, uninjured, surrounded by pitch darkness. No smell, silence. No Tialand. No city. Her scream was absolute terror.

The temperature soared. The ground that appeared beneath her feet was molten metal. She leapt above the vast ocean of screaming people and cried with elation as soaring flight returned. Her body hovered in the space above the writhing mass for a single, agonising moment, and then she fell again. Fear broke from within the fabric that held her together. As if in slow motion, she watched as her toes brushed the glowing floor. She ran and slipped, knocked a burning woman over who fell next to her and wailed as she watched her flaming arm sink into the metal inch by inch. Pain beyond experience overwhelmed her senses. She whipped out her arm, the skin was gone below her elbow, the remains of her hand quivered, fingers blackened, bone, aflame. She slumped forward, screaming silenced as she slipped below the gently rippling surface.

Awoke. In the darkness, she bawled until hoarse.

She tore at her hair, pulled it out in chunks.

Clawed at her skin, her finger nails scraping until nails chipped on bone.

The metal floor appeared. Scrambling. On top of. As many beings as she could grab, fighting to stay afloat, screaming. Mind gone as she slipped below the surface.

She awoke and landed on the metal floor, awoke and landed on the metal floor, awoke floor awoke floor awoke.

Many thousands of years later, it stopped.

She was naked, curled in a ball, shivering uncontrollably.

People ran about her, jostling, jumped over her, moaning, stood on her, kicked her, roaring, from room to room, she was on her feet, instinct, pushed her to run, just to run, run, shrieking, her skin blistered, hair caught fire, an exit, there had to be a way out, the building roasted, a sledge hammer swung, from the ceiling, slammed into her stomach, she flew through the blazing, hot air, and landed, on the scorching floor, no screaming, only retching, in the burning, she forced herself, onto hands, and knees, a coat of molten metal, was placed over her, screams ceased, she slumped to the floor, people ran, frantic, roaring, roaring, wailing, from room to room, hair caught fire, as, frenzied, she banged on a windowless wall, hands broken, turned, to see a hammer, swing, from the ceiling, and slam, into a man’s head, an exit, way out, now, coat, molten metal, placed over her, howling, slumped to the floor, finger nails scratching, down a wall, people ran, roaring, burning, exit, exit, exit, exit, exit. Many millions of years later, it stopped.

She lay face down on a frozen, smooth mirrored surface, unable to move, for an invisible force held her securely in place. A tall, broad featureless figure made of rippling, nebulous black shadow approached her from above. Tendrils of darkness caressed her bare skin, trails of ice formed in their wake. The being’s heavy clopping ceased, a cloak of darkness that stank of rotting fish enveloped her and indistinct, multilayered whispering penetrated her, taunting her. An incorporeal hoof rested in the small of her back, weight was forced upon her, as she was sliced vertically from neck to tailbone. Then diagonally from each shoulder to the opposite buttock; then across her shoulders, legs then arms. In moments, she was crisscrossed and bleeding profusely. Neat rows of beings appeared to her left and right, ahead and behind, above and below her, all were being carved open by the tormentor with its myriad of indistinct arms. Her eyes rolled upward and she vomited blood as her body became whole again. Sound no longer escaped her lips as she was sliced apart, made whole, sliced apart, made whole, sliced apart. A trillion years later, it stopped.

Michael, George and Marissa were bathed in gentle, spring sunshine. They stood on top of a lush, green hill, jumping up and down, calling her name, waving to her, laughing happily. She stood at its base, a hint of the cool breeze above played on her face and tickled her nostrils. Tears fell freely as she cried with joy at the sight of her beautiful lovers. All of this vile terror would be a dreamlike memory she could banish to nothingness the instant she wrapped herself in their love and warmth.

The coals beneath her feet blazed.

Not caring, she ran up the hill with all her might.

The smell of roasting flesh filled her flaming nostrils. Her feet cooked.

She stumbled and fell; her hands sank beneath the glowing, crackling surface. She pulled them out, hands were gone, bloody stumps burned, she stood and ran on ankles, tears evaporated. Somehow, she made it to the top of the barren, burning hill. Where were her darlings? Giant snarling, scaly monsters, with acidic drool dripping generously from their blackened, six inch fangs, pounced on her and tore her to pieces. Michael, George and Marissa stood on top of a hill, calling her. She was at its base.

Flames blazed in the space normally reserved for cloud. She fell from the raging sky and landed on a rocky, red hot mountain side. There was no vegetation of any kind and not a trace of moisture. Each snatched breath scorched the back of her throat. She spun around on bare heels, scattering baking stones. She was alone. She was never alone. Fear mushroomed exponentially as her heart sprinted.

Where were the others?

The rippling black shadow?

Incorporeal hoofs?

She turned, those her monsters had eaten closed in, crouching low, snarling like rabid dogs, turned, Tialanders she’d played with hissed, drool dripping from their open mouths, turned, those from the Eighth Bridge spoke rapidly, a jumble of discordant words pitching high and low, turned, two busloads stood in front of her, statue-like, all eyes to the sky, grins fixed wide, turned, the woman who pushed past her held a kitchen knife, turned, the gossiping girls, shiny, bright cleavers, Nick, a glowing hatchet, Miranda, a fiery sword, Craig, a wailing chainsaw, turned, turned, turned and howled as she fell.

They took their time dismembering her.

Flames blazed in the space normally reserved for cloud. She fell from the sky and landed on a rocky, red hot mountain side. There was a shimmering in the near distance; it was not so far that she couldn’t walk. It was a heavenly ice blue, soothing, rippling joy; she hadn’t been able to find cool, refreshing water in a millennia. She forced herself to her unsteady feet and jerked her head up and down, to the sides, behind, no-one emerged to attack or steal the precious nectar pooled just ahead of her. She sprinted anyway, closing in on the liquid life.

Ahead of her was a field of dew laden green grass. Where was the pool of water? It didn’t matter. She laughed with glee. There was water on grass. She could roll in it. Revel in it. She ran joyously onto the field. Each one of the slim green blades was a burning sliver of glass. She was lacerated every time she lowered a foot, but forced herself on; her face wet with tears, for there was a cool, shady forest just ahead of her, a few small steps was all that was needed. Out of breath, her feet shredded, in excruciating pain, she leant against a tree trunk. It was made of white hot iron. Her hand was vaporised. A searing wind picked up, the autumn leaves fell from the glowing branches, ripping her body apart. She fell to her knees and looked up. There was a cool shimmering, off in the far distance. It was a divine ice blue. A divine ice blue.

She landed on an ice shelf, naked, enveloped by a raging, freezing blizzard. Her eyes would not focus, she didn’t need vision, for she sensed the suffering of the countless surrounding her. She managed to raise herself up and stand hunched, as her body was battered. Her joints seized. Ice formed over her mouth, her nose and her eyes. She froze solid. The screaming wind tipped her over and she shattered into a million glittering, tinkling pieces. She landed on an ice shelf, naked, enveloped by a blizzard.

She could taste wood though she had no tongue. She could hear a low drone though she had no ears. She desperately tried to take form though it was impossible. She was pitch-darkness. An explosion tore through her as a door was slammed. She screamed though she had no vocal chords. Her breathing raced though she could not feel lungs expanding and contracting. Another booming roar tore into her as the door was slammed again and again, her cells lit with agony.

The hammer connected with the anvil. She burned as the red hot metal blazed into her formless back. Deafened as the clang, clang, clang of metal connecting with metal ripped through her. The anvil was struck over and over.

She was roasted as the jet engine fired up.

She was smothered as she was sucked through the sewer.

She was trapped in a rock, frozen in ice, boiled, beaten and burnt.

It all stopped.

An aeon had passed.

Raging red and black storm clouds flew overhead at a fearful pace. Tia Green stood up straight, her arms were loose by her sides, as she looked up at the leaden sky. An unnerving sensation coolly washed through her from her crown to the soles of her feet. It was a feeling she vaguely recognised from a deep and distant memory, though she was not really sure the impression belonged to her. She hunted her for a word, something to describe it, to give life to the strangeness that lit her. And then it became obvious: it was ‘ease’ that had settled. The cloud began to clear, to rush off into the distance and dissolve.

She looked up into a crystal clear, blue morning sky, stood in a field of soft, damp green grass, as an array of colourful birds began to sing joyous songs. She took in a long breath, her lungs filled with fresh, spring-like air; it was as though she had never experienced oxygen before. There was a light breeze that played on the skin, and a bright, comforting sun that bathed her in soothing golden light.

There was no pain.

She looked down at herself and the thin, full length white gown that clothed her. She was barefoot. The field of grass was visible through her feet. She turned and twisted her translucent hand through the air. There was no panic, for it seemed quite natural.

She pulled a few strands of straight, brown hair before her eyes, ran hands over her full frame, then over her thin lips and undefined cheek bones. Another long forgotten sensation entered her mind: relief.

She closed her eyes and listened. Her thoughts and emotions were quiet, still, a perfect flat calm. It was bliss to be pervaded by such pure, unabashed contentment. It was as if she had stumbled upon the most precious gift the universe had to offer.

She opened her eyes. Stood before her was blonde, lithe, green eyed Tia. The seductive, pretty woman was a motionless mannequin clothed in a long white gown. She slowly circled herself and lightly ran fingers through her fine hair. If it hadn’t been attached to her sensuous figure and its slim proportions, her immaculate hair might as well be just a mass of yellow spaghetti. She looked into her shining eyes. Would her flawless face be so attractive without her lush lips, her high cheek bones, sharp green eyes and freckles? When the elements came together in a pleasant and acceptable fashion, they formed this woman. And when they dispersed?

Svelte Tia aged fifty years in seconds. From the peak of physical perfection, she became a stooped, wrinkled old lady whose dry skin hung from brittle bones. As she died and crumbled to dust, a gurgling baby appeared at her feet, struggling in the grass. The child grew into an awkward girl, a confident woman at the height of her powers, then old and dead.

Her fame came and went. Her riches were built up and scattered. Her desire and anger flared, and just as quickly, like waves upon a stormy ocean, the emotions subsided.

She could not bear to sink below the surface again. Her smile was faint, she was cleansed and grateful, and now, she had to let her go.

“Goodbye, my sweet,” she said, her words were kind and without sadness.

She kissed her softly on the cheek, turned around, and walked away across the damp, manicured grass that tickled her feet and played between her toes. It was a wonderful, unrivalled luxury to feel such softness beneath her feet. She could walk on it for weeks and not tire of it, alive and thankful for its serene touch.

There was a broad oak tree ahead of her. It was an ancient, great grandfather with a steadfast trunk and long branches that cast a tall and wide canopy of rich leaves. She stood before it, humbled by its grandeur, and let her focus soften and rest on a single leaf and the droplet of clear water that lay motionless at its centre. She looked closely at the thin, elegant branch it had sprung from. Her brow creased, as she realised that without the branch the leaf could not exist.

She stood back, puzzled, and looked at the tree trunk. Without the trunk the branches would have no support. She looked to the rich earth at the base of the tree, without the earth the tree would have nowhere for its roots to take hold. Without the soil from below, the refreshing rain from above and the heat and light of the glowing sun from afar, the tree would not receive the nourishment it needed to stay alive. Without space, the tiny earth, its home star, and the myriad of glittering galaxies and glorious nebulas, would have no place to exist; the universe would have no canvas. And without her mind supported by her body, she would not see the tree.

She smiled warmly and walked to an expansive river, drawn to the placid flow of the majestic body of wide water. By her feet was a small, round, flat stone. She picked it up and gently threw it. It skimmed across the surface once, twice, three times and then sank. Ripples emanated outwards.

Pure, naked horror pulsed through her being from her heart outward. She fell to her knees, and as her tears flowed and splashed freely in the water, her body shook uncontrollably and she roared in pain. She gripped her wet face, unable to control the howling anguish, nor wishing even to try.

She had toyed with and gunned down the woman who had pushed passed her. Tia instantly became the woman, and lived her ordeal through her eyes, absorbed the pain as she felt it tear into her, not once, but over and over. She became Michael and felt the overwhelming fear that raced through his veins before being shot, again and again. She became Nick, was consumed by anguish, then shot over and over, then lived as Craig, then Miranda, then as every single one of the Tialanders she had abused, as every person she had massacred in the city, she experienced again and again every micro second of terrifying suffering she had unleashed.

Remorse overtook her.

Grief consumed her.

And she begged forgiveness.

A further aeon passed, as she sat by the bank of the river and filled it with tears day and night.

Then, one day, she fell back on her heels, her arms hung loose, her hands lay in the grass, her palms faced the sky. She swore never to hurt another being, no matter what happened to her and no matter what others said or did to her.

She opened her eyes and looked to the sky.

“May I die so they may not suffer.”

Tia dissolved.

She took no form for there was no longer a need. Thought and emotion were no longer necessary. She was simply aware. Cool and warm, resting in light, pure joy, enveloped by love, emanating love, naturally, without effort. She was wisdom itself, everywhere and nowhere, beyond time and existence.

Yet, she still knew of suffering.

She stood on a deserted, rain soaked footpath and looked to her left and right. The road ahead was near her flat, it was the one that led to the train station. In the middle of it was a woman who was howling with laugher. A moment later, she slumped to the ground, curled up into a tight ball and sobbed.

Overwhelming compassion flowed for her, and as she saw herself slowly sit up, she found her mind to be still, as though she were a blank sheet of paper, the future suddenly open to endless possibility.

As she watched herself begin to stand, a car raced around the corner.

“No,” she shouted.

Tia was killed instantly.

She sprinted out into the road as the car skidded to a stop, its breaks screeching. She fell to her knees by herself, her arms and legs were splayed, her eyes wide open and glassy, and blood pooled generously in the road from the back of her head.

“I didn’t see her,” the driver yelled at his passenger, as he rushed toward the dead body.

“How many times have I told you to slow down?” the passenger screamed.

“Just call an ambulance, will you,” the driver shouted.

She forced herself to her feet and stood in the hammering rain in the middle of the street. The driver, passenger and car dissolved. There was no-one around, there was no wind and no sound. The rain stopped. The sun came out. The birds began to sing.

A shadow rose up, stood out of the dead body and formed into a woman wearing business clothes who bolted for the footpath, her cheeks glowed red, her head hung low. As she trudged toward the train station, she discreetly followed and listened to her teeth as they chattered and her feet as they squelched.

She had the freedom to create and do whatever she pleased, the freedom to return and remain in all pervasive peace, and the freedom to let herself continue alone on the journey to work. Considered reflection was not needed, for abandonment was not possible. She stepped forward and became one with herself.

Tia walked into the train station’s coffee shop.

~

The Brief Life of Tia Green – Six

~

Tia Green - 06 - Flower

Mountains

A woman roughly pushed past her.

“Sorry,” Tia said, quietly.

The rage surged white hot from deep within her belly. It would be a delicious pleasure to let it surge up through her and explode, to roll in the naked rawness of its bewitching energy, to get tangled in its power, to see it joyously manifest as swear words hurled at the rude old bat, to push her, to gag her, to … she closed her eyes. In her mind’s eye, two paths were clear and open before her.

Yes, she had pushed past her, and yes it was insulting. But then, she was sure the woman suffered just as she did, and, there was no doubt her tears were as salty as hers. No, desire to hurt her was gone. The crashing intoxicating wave began to subside as the wind eased.

She looked over her glasses thick steamed up lenses, and without a trace of anger in her mind, she willed the woman to one side, for she had to know.

“Erm, now, let me see. What do I want?” The woman stood before the coffee shop assistant. She did not move. How interesting. “Hmm, yes, I’ll have a skinny cappuccino.”

Wheel squeal heralded the arrival of the train. Surely luck only superpowers could manufacture would allow her to catch it. Besides, she’d rather not try and run for it for she was looking forward to a nice cup of coffee first. Ah well, she’d buy her latte and get to work eventually.

The doors slid closed with a resounding thud just as Tia was about to jump on the packed, graffiti-ridden train. As it pulled away, she caught sight of the woman who had pushed past her, stood by the door, sipping her cappuccino. Good for her.

Fifteen minutes later, and five minutes late, another train arrived. The train doors slid open with a pained screech and a dozen sullen faces glanced wearily at her. A couple of boys listened to mp3 players, workmen in their t-shirts and jeans sat on tool boxes, while sharply suited men and women stared blankly at the carriage’s grubby, wet floor, masterfully avoiding each other’s glances. She smiled at them, it did not matter that those who looked her way did not return the gesture.

The doors slid closed and trapped her raincoat. She stood still and chose to leave it. When the doors opened at the next station, then she could set it free. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly and deeply. It would be nice to smell something other than dozens of sweaty bodies hunched tightly together in a humid carriage. Her thought, however, was not followed by a fresh smell of mint.

The train slowed to a stop.

“Sorry for the delay,” the driver said, “this is due to …”

The stillness of the train was a pleasant exterior image, a counterpoise to her mind’s quietness.

It was twenty-five minutes past nine. She shook her umbrella, nothing too vigorous, just a little shake to get rid of the excess water, and then pulled open the door. Her glasses promptly steamed up as she stepped into the overheated office. Over the tops of the lenses she could make out a blurry image of Nick striding purposefully toward her, staring at his wrist.

“I’ll talk to you later, Tia,” Nick said, as he breezed by.

“Of course, whenever you’re ready,” she replied, quietly, her heart suddenly pounding. Turning her head, she glimpsed him looking back at her, his face set in a stern frown that seemed quizzical.

She shook her head, her cheeks burning as she threw the umbrella to the floor. That bloody man could still draw her in. He knew exactly which buttons to push and how hard to push them. She clenched her fist, wishing she could just march over to his desk and punch him in the jaw, kick him in the shins, better yet, publicly humiliate him, and have him run through the office naked slapping his hairy … she took in a long, slow breath. Nick’s behaviour was a problem, no doubt; however, so was her reaction to him.

“You know, I think it might be time for a sea change,” she said, taking off her coat.

“I’ve often wondered what it would be like to just say a few words and have the whole world understand you.”

“I’m sorry.” She smiled. “I was just thinking aloud.”

She looked down at the lovely Michael sat smiling warmly and sighed. It was good to see that gorgeous smile and cute face, to recall the hungry demon she had unleashed between her sheets. In fact, seeing him sat there like that, all rugged and sultry, made her want to reacquaint herself with his … she lowered her head and, to be absolutely sure, closed her eyes tight. In the fabric of her being, she knew Michael was unaware of the wild madness that had led to two vast aeons of atonement; for him, today was yesterday, and all that had ever passed between them were smiles and casual conversation.

Despite her embarrassment, she raised her head and looked him in the eye. He was perhaps the kindest man she knew. His wife must be proud.

She sank into her chair and pushed her computer’s power button.

“Yes, is that the I.T. helpdesk?” Tia asked, cradling the slim phone against her shoulder. “I can’t get into my email account … I’m sorry, I’m not sure, all I can tell you is that it won’t open … No, I’m afraid don’t know.” Double click on this. “Yes.” Double click on that. “Still nothing, I’m afraid. Reboot? Sure, no problem.”

As another file was dropped in her overflowing in-tray, she put down the phone and shrugged. Ah well, she’d get to them eventually. Perhaps eventually might be a bit longer than she anticipated, as water rapidly spread across her desk from the spilled plastic cup, soaking into paper as it went. Oops.

“So -” She jolted and spilled water on the floor. “- why were you late?”

Tia closed her eyes softly, without cringing, as adrenaline pumped through her. She held herself still, quietly poised without fright or compulsion. Nick had no idea what he was doing, how much he hurt people with the fear he aroused in them. The warmest compassion for him welled within her.

“Well?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, I missed my train.” Her response was unenforced, measured and calm.

“With this much work to do you will make an effort to be in on time. Your appraisal is due tomorrow and I’ll be the one writing it.”

“Yes, I know.”

Nick looked back into the corridor, and then stepped into the kitchen until they were toe to toe. His face softened.

“You know, it’s not me, it’s the pressure Rita puts on me.”

She nodded her head as she backed into the kitchen counter. He ran his hand slowly over her arm.

“I want to give you a great appraisal.”

Tia raised her head and locked her eyes unblinkingly onto his. She had to say it and not for her own sake. “Nick, if you touch me, or anyone else in this office ever again, I will ensure Rita knows of your exact criteria for a great appraisal.”

He stepped back and tripped on his heels, his eyes were wide, his mouth open. “You wouldn’t dare, you’re a mouse.”

She was not angry at him, there was only love. “All right, as you please, let us both go and see Rita, you and I, right now.”

He raised a shaking hand. “No, no, it’s all right.” He promptly turned. “I’ll give you a decent appraisal and a raise if you like.”

“Nick -” He turned back to her. “- be careful, please.”

Nick’s face softened, as, what looked to be, a flash of terror crossed his eyes.

“Oh, yes, I know,” Marie said, to Tia’s right. “I said to her, Liz, I’ve told you a dozen times he wouldn’t like it, you flirt like that and he’ll get mad with …”

“I know, I know,” Julie interrupted, stood next to Marie. “She’d drunk a bottle of that cheap red by the time she got to Steve, and of course he loved it, dirty old …”

“Don’t get me started on Steve,” Anna said. “Last year at the Christmas party, he was so drunk and all over me like rash. I mean, really, he’s no George Christian …”

Tia sat down. Their conversation was irritating, like mosquitoes constantly nipping at her, on and on and on. How could they go on with the same inane chatter all day long, their minds locked into a repetitive … why should she be annoyed? What would it achieve? If she looked at it from a selfish angle, the aggravation it caused would only upset her.

She gracefully entered from stage left. The audience were on their feet rapt with delirious abandon. Tia wore a fitted, designer silk blouse; tight blue jeans and brown leather cowboy boots. As she approached the beaming host’s sofa, she tossed her hair, threw a smile and gave the empty rows of seats a little wave. The spotlights faded out, the sound dropped to silence and she was stood on an empty stage. Her imaginary life dissolved back into her mind.

The equation crystallised into clarity and simplicity: she could not and would not allow herself to succumb again. It was too dangerous, for herself and every single person around her. It was time for something radical, something new, or perhaps, something that had always been there but she had yet to rediscover. Her heart beat faster, her path was wide open. But what should she do with such possibility? Then, she saw it in her mind’s eye. A twinkling in the distance, like sunlight reflected off a mirror. Oh, now that was perfect.

She turned to Michael and grinned, her eyes alight. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oh, yes,” he replied, smiling. “Is it gossip?”

“Not yet.”

He leant in close to her. “Well, come on then, what is it?”

“I am going to stand up from this chair,” she whispered and stood. “I am now going to walk into Rita’s office, and then, I am going to resign.”

He sat back and laughed, slapping his thigh. It took only a moment for his amusement to subside and the frown to set in.

“You’re being serious,” he said, his eyes wide.

She sniggered. “Watch this.”

Rita sat back into her chair, as Tia looked into her boss’ still eyes.“I can’t say I’m too surprised,” she said, quietly. “It’s been clear to me you’ve been unhappy for quite some time.”

“It’s not the job,” Tia said, as she swung her gaze down to her hands resting in her lap. Now that she had taken the plunge, she felt bad about letting Rita down. “It’s … it’s just me. I need to be elsewhere.”

Rita nodded, smiling. “I understand.”

Did she really?

“In many ways, I envy you.”

“Oh?”

“It’s a brave person that just ups and leaves.”

She looked back up to Rita’s kind eyes. “You could do it.”

“Yes, I suppose I could. Perhaps in the next round.” She laughed. “I’ll miss you. You’ve been good to this firm. Are you leaving immediately?”

“I just need to let my landlord know, pack a couple of things, and then …” She thumbed to the door.

“Do you know where you’re going to go?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

As Tia cleared her desk, the gossiping girls stood, staring, silent.

“So soon?” Michael said. “Not even one day’s notice.”

“Not even,” she replied, as she handed him an overflowing box of stationary. With a smile, she surveyed her empty drawers. “Well, that’s it, I’m ready to go.”

“And now?”

“And now, I’m going home to catch my boyfriend in bed with my best friend.” She grinned. “Poor lad, he’s in for such a shock. Mind you, so is she.”

“I dare not ask.” Michael laughed.

She looked into Michael’s lovely eyes, so warm and gentle. “Be good to your wife and your child, whatever it may be, and may they be good to you.”

He nodded. “Be happy and well, my dear.”

“Goodbye.” She kissed his cheek, stood, and left the office without looking back.

She shook her umbrella and stepped into her building, took off her sodden shoes and sat on a dry step. Perhaps it would be best to wait for them to finish. It was going to be hard enough for all of them without her adding to it by sensationally bursting in on them mid flow. It was bad enough last time. Come to think of it, she smiled wickedly, it would be a little bit fun to see their faces go from high to horror in a beat. No, that would not be the thing to do. No matter what Craig and Miranda were doing to her, she could not do it to them. Pain was pain.

Actually, as she thought of how often the sun had risen and set since she had met Craig, she should expect … no, she should demand loyalty. And as for Miranda, the slut should know better than to jeopardise a childhood friendship. She closed her eyes tightly as a lump formed in the back of her throat. They were treating her like dirt, using her, trampling all over her. She might not be the best looking woman on the planet, nor the most intelligent, but what they were doing to her was disgusting. It was wrong. She deserved better.

The door to her flat creaked open and Tia stood.

Miranda stepped out into the corridor, turned and tenderly kissed Craig, her arms around his neck, a hand caressing his hair. “I’ll come see you again about one tomorrow, I’ll bring some more iced voddy.” When she turned and saw Tia sat on the step by the door, her face flushed white.

“What is it, honey?” Craig said, and looked into the corridor. “Oh, my God.”

She saw Miranda’s hands start to shake, as Craig’s eyes widened.

Tia’s stomach clenched tight, as she fought the near overwhelming desire to retch. For all the stillness she had managed to maintain throughout the day, seeing them in each other’s arms broke the spell. She had expected to see just this, but still, the sight was a kick in the teeth. They had used her. It was no mistake. Her body was numb.

She dropped her bag, her shoes and umbrella, and forced herself to stand, though desperate to run.

“Tia,” Craig said.

“Sweetie,” Miranda called.

How long had they been mauling each other? She clung to the door handle, her knuckles white, her breathing raced, their words stabbed at her like white hot knives as rage boiled inside her. She wanted to push Miranda into a corner, to yell at her, slap her around, rip at her clothes and call her a liar, a filthy dirt bag. She wanted Craig on his knees, begging for pity, as she jabbed fingers in his eyes and squeezed his crotch. She … she … she had suffered for an eternity for such actions. She felt as though she would suffer again for simply thinking such thoughts. Breathing slowly, her heart began to calm, her blood began to cool. What would be the point in allowing her anger to come to the boil? One day she would be dead.

She turned and opened her eyes. Her mind was not entirely still, but it was getting there, she could probably manage. She smiled; it was a genuine smile, a kind smile. Beneath the hurt, there was overwhelming love for them both. How could there not be?

Miranda and Craig looked at each other, frowning, breathing hard. Perhaps they were expecting her to explode.

“I’m leaving the city,” she said, quietly, her hands held before her.

“Oh,” Miranda replied, her face set, her eyes locked wide.

“A holiday might be good for you,” Craig said, his voice breaking.

“I’m not coming back.”

Miranda and Craig looked at each other.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry,” Miranda said, offering Tia her hand. “I … I didn’t mean to hurt you, but no, please, don’t go.”

“Tia, this is silly, don’t leave because of us,” Craig said. “Surely, we can work something out.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m leaving tonight.”

“Honey, let’s talk about this,” Miranda said. “You have your job to consider, you have responsibilities and you can’t just walk away.”

She smiled. “Yes, I can.”

“Where will you go?” Craig asked.

She looked at the tiled floor. “Please, I think it best that you both leave now. My landlord will be stopping by shortly. I have to pack or I’ll miss my flight.”

“Your flight?”

Craig heaved a large black bin bag filled with his clothes over his shoulder, and as he left with a glace over his shoulder, Tia smiled kindly at him and then gently pushed her front door closed.

She looked over the tiny flat. It wouldn’t take long to be ready, for she didn’t own many things. As she stood, mentally noting all she needed to accomplish before her landlord arrived, a sense of gratefulness formed, for even though she had lived under the same roof for three years, there was no trace of attachment to the place in her heart.

Once the bathroom had been thoroughly cleaned from ceiling to floor, she moved to the kitchen. The washing up was quickly followed by a clear out and a clean up the fridge and the freezer. After the kitchen had been washed down and the floor mopped, the vacuuming followed the dusting which still left plenty of time to get to the charity shop. Two large empty bags were soon filled with all that was not essential to tomorrow. All that remained was her rucksack, purse and some durable clothes. The clothes were packed into the deep rucksack and she would draw her remaining cash from the bank on the way to the airport.

She took one last look around what used to be her flat, pulled the door closed and dropped the keys into her landlord’s palm.

“Thanks,” she said.

A couple of young men in football shirts laughed over steaming coffee. A trio of older women in business suits argued ferociously over tall glasses of cold beer. A child stood silently by his mother, clinging to her hand. A well groomed man wandered between the bustle chattering to no-one in particular, his hands clasped loosely behind his back. Tia sat still in the open plan lounge waiting for the call for her flight, her hands rested in her lap; her ticket and passport were tucked in her jacket pocket.

Ahead of her, beyond the thick glass, many coloured aeroplanes took off and landed in a near seamless stream. In her mind’s eye, like a rock around which the river of her consciousness flowed, her destination was clear. She had no map, she had seen no photograph, yet, she knew exactly where it was and how she would get there.

She stepped out the airport and took in a lungful of cool, fresh air. The first rays of clear morning light were breaking on the cloudless horizon. Seven days, four cabs, two trains and several busses later, she reached the base of the soaring mountains. Beneath her tightly laced boots was the last foot of grassy flatland. Ahead of her were the winding paths that led deep into the elegant range.

She turned from the mountains, back to the small cluster of stone houses a short distance away. The welcoming villagers had not been at all surprised to see her, for apparently she was not the first to pass through their streets before taking to the steep slopes. They promised her it would take no more than five or six days to reach her destination and blessed her with provisions aplenty for her trek.

Tia turned away from the village and started to walk.

Once her body was warmed up and her rhythm smooth and even, she pushed herself hard yet steadily, her eye on the detail of each step she took but with her gaze held long toward the objective. Her feet were soon aching and blistered; she ignored the pain and walked.

In her mind at the end of each punishing day lay a conviction that she could walk no further. She gladly collapsed beneath a single tree that always seemed to be waiting for her as the sun dipped below a peak. And after a good, long foot massage, she laid out beneath the blanket of stars, delighted by the soft, summer breeze that drifted over her. As darkness fell and exhaustion overcame her senses, she fell into sound sleep. In her dreams, the clarity of her destination became increasingly sharp with each night that passed.

Each day, she promptly woke at dawn as the sun broke over the mountain tops. She ate lightly, careful to ration her supplies. If her journey lasted a day longer than she had planned, she was sure she would be in trouble. It was odd then that the quantity of food in her rucksack did not diminish as quickly as she had anticipated. She drank sparingly, worried for water more than food, yet, her water canteens did not empty at anywhere near the pace she would have expected.

Each morning, as soon as she had finished eating, she packed her things and cleared the site she had camped on, took in a deep breath, and walked. Steadily, she rose higher and higher into the range.

At the end of day five, she took in a lungful of the sweetest air she had ever breathed, and strode out onto a vast, lush plain of bright green grass filled with beds of wild spring flowers that burst with vibrant colour and delightful fragrances. Bees, bugs, butterflies and insects buzzed and flapped about the open petals, dancing in the nectar. A kindle of kittens rolled playfully between the beds watched over by elder cats sedately sat on the sidelines. Dogs bounded across the field, chasing each other, their wet tongues hanging loose in the wind. In the distance, she was sure she could make out horses and antelopes, panthers and elephants, donkeys and pandas, all wandering along, side by side, dignified, beneath a sky teeming with parrots, finches, falcons, owls, birds large and small, squawking and chirping.

The enormous range rose again at the end of the plain. She squinted, for the sun was ahead of her and the rock face in shadow. Between what appeared to be two cascading waterfalls was a glinting on the rock face, a shimmering, perhaps possibly even a white light emanating from the rock itself. Tia smiled.

She dipped her hand into the cool pool of crystal clear water formed by the waterfalls at the base of the mountain. It was not as cold as she expected water to be at this altitude, but then, as she surveyed the multitude of fish and animal life about her, not much about this place corresponded with expectation.

The glittering pure light on the rock face was now before her. The shafts of brilliance were neither a part of the rock nor were they separate from it, it was as though solidity had dissolved and only light remained. The animals turned to her and became quiet. The winged life settled and watched. The breeze ceased to blow.

She turned back to the still plain; she could so easily stay and be content in the sumptuousness of the display. It was there for her, enticing her, teasing and willing her to remain. She turned back to the light and squinted. It was too much for her to take in, how was she expected to even begin to understand? The light burned, it was sending her blind, she was sure of it. What had she been thinking, she’d come all this way for this? A nice field with pretty flowers, along with a bunch of animals and a blinding white light? She slumped to her knees and her eyes began to well.

Before despair could flood through her, she forced herself to sit up, just one last time, and opened her heavy eyelids. Through her tears, she found she could see beyond the light, through it, as though she was looking into and beyond the rock face. She wiped her eyes dry. Were there buildings in there? White walls and white sloping roofs perhaps, in the mountain, beyond it, elsewhere? There were dozens of them in fact; some clustered tightly together, one above the other, some many feet apart, a three dimensional labyrinth.

She stood, the tendril of hesitation dissolved, and she stepped through.

~

Love, peace, light and power exuded from them.

The transcendent ones were waiting for her.

She fell to her knees before them and, with tears freely falling, begged for instruction.

Without the need for words, it was explained that if she wished to succeed, the cultivation of boundless generosity and the most determined discipline, patience and diligence would be needed for all her days.

Her heart broke with contented bliss as she gladly accepted.

Days soon turned to weeks, the weeks became months, and slowly, the years were decades. The elderly died and sometimes the young did too, and many, many more came to them from over the mountains burdened with fantastic tales, seeking understanding, solace and teaching.

In her final years, and following six decades of often gruelling study and application, she attained the highest levels of wisdom and realisation.

One glorious spring morning, as the cool mist cleared and the sun rose into a still, clear blue sky, a shaft of pure light appeared above her bed, and Tia Green quietly died.

Her body was transformed into radiant light.

And for just a moment, peace and tranquillity entered the minds of every living being on earth.

~

Tia Green - 07 - Close

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